Contemplations in the Afterlife
by scarlet wax petal
Summary: WARNING: SPOILERS. Seto Yami, Prideshipping. Despite his love for Seto Kaiba, the Pharaoh Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife. Now, he feels regret for his decision, and prays for another chance for him and his beloved to be together.
1. Development

_Warnings: SPOILERS with deviations. This fanfiction transpires during Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters last season (i.e. Ancient Egyptian arc), and continues long after the end of the last episode. If you have already seen the anime up to the end, or if you don't mind seeing spoilers, then please do proceed in reading this story. If not, then I suggest you see the anime first before satisfying your curiosity. :) Oh, and another warning: Yaoi (male-male romantic relationship)._

_Pairing: Seto Kaiba x Yami Yugi (Prideshipping)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!_

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

**Prologue**

Looking back, I had every reason not to move on to the afterlife, for finally, after three thousand years, I was given a second chance to live. As a mere spirit, true -- and in another person's body at that -- but it was life nonetheless. And, it was a life well-spent, happily in the company of truest friends. What more could I ask for?

But I was nagged with a feeling of inadequacy, knowing that my past was erased from my mind. And so I chased my elusive memories, from three thousand years ago: years forever gone, years forever lost. Years that should have been buried in the sand, never to be uncovered_. For what would knowing the past bring, if it could never be changed? Why bother with the past, when there is a future of possibilities that lies ahead?_

Such were the beliefs of Seto Kaiba. Such were the beliefs of the man who -- when everyone thought it was I who would teach him a lesson -- opened my eyes to the most important thing. Ironically, it was love... hardly something to be expected from the conceited young duelist. Yet, somehow, just by being who he is, he caught my heart. Even when I had far better options: so many others who would have regarded me in a more friendly manner. But, instead, I fell for the man who scorned me, despised me, obsessed about plunging me into the depths of defeat... And yet, I love him. Not once, not even in three millennia past, did I ever love anyone as much as I love Seto Kaiba. It was destiny that brought us together. And so I accepted what my heart has chosen for me.

But it was a realization that came too late. By the rules of fate, I had to move on. Kaiba called it stupidity. Perhaps, for many reasons, he was right. Yet in the end, I would realize that, sometimes, the stupidest choices can actually turn out to be the best...

**Chapter 1: Development**

From the start, I have already known that I would have to say goodbye if I do regain my memories. I came to that conclusion quite simply; all I did was put together the clues I had then. An engraving of me on an ancient Egyptian stone tablet. The Millennium Puzzle. My existence in another person's body. The inexistence of my own physical form. From ancient literature, I have come to know that a soul without its own body is not supposed to be bound to the Earth, unless it has an unfulfilled mission. My mission was, obviously, to find what was lost: my memories. Once I fulfilled this mission, I would have to move on.

Despite knowing this, and despite my growing attachment to my friends, I was firm in my resolve to uncover my past... never realizing that I would fall in love. Until it was too late.

Who would have expected that my heart would fall for a man once consumed by gall and evil? I wouldn't have. When we first met, Kaiba had kidnapped Sugoroku. My friends and I arrived just in time to save the old man from dying. Just in time, as well, to witness Kaiba's most ruthless act: tearing Sugoroku's precious Blue Eyes White Dragon card. At that, I made up my mind to teach this young man a lesson.

I challenged him to a duel, and won. And then I punished him with a mind crush, entered the depths of his soul and destroyed the evil that held it prisoner. However, when I came upon a darkness in his heart that could never be removed, I considered killing him at that instant, for his sake. For it is only through death that Kaiba could truly be saved from this deep-seated darkness.

But then, I saw that hidden, strangely protected by his stone-heartedness, was a man of warmth, compassion and sacrifice. It was something rare, something incomprehensible at that moment, but I was sure that it made Kaiba more than just a skilled duelist obsessed with power and strength. Intrigued, I let him live.

I had thought he would change. But in our next encounter, I felt I was wrong. Kaiba had challenged me to a duel, and I had no choice but to take it, in order to save my hikari's grandfather. Near the end of the duel, I was at an advantage, and then Kaiba did the unthinkable: he positioned himself upon the ledge of the tower and threatened to jump to the rocks below if he loses all of his life points. Of course, I had other things in mind then; I had the duel to win, and Sugoroku to save... and if it was death Kaiba was asking for, I would give it wholeheartedly.

But then, my hikari came in the way. Kaiba took the opportunity to grab the victory. And I hated him for that. I hated him for stealing the victory, for causing the chance to save Sugoroku to slip from my grasp. And I hated myself for almost killing him. Knowing Kaiba, I was sure he wasn't bluffing; he has far too much pride for that, and would really have killed himself if he had lost. _But then, if he had pride... why would he cheat?_ It didn't make any sense at first.

Looking at it from a different light, I saw that Kaiba was so determined to win the duel for some reason. A reason that certainly outweighs everything else in importance -- even his own honor, even his own life. _But what was important to Kaiba? Was it power, as he so often portrayed? Then it still wouldn't make any sense... A man with Kaiba's pride would seek power in more honorable ways._

I compared him to me. I, too, was willing to take drastic measures for reasons more important than the duel. I was willing to kill Kaiba to save Sugoroku. _And Kaiba cheated to save Mokuba_, I later learned. His younger brother. The reason that outweighs everything else in importance, for whom Kaiba would taint his own honor and take his own life. And I finally understood everything that I had seen before, in his heart. Everything that Kaiba is. The loving older brother.

I met Kaiba in various occasions afterwards. In Battle City, he pushed me to continue fighting, when I thought I was lost in my battle with the God of Osiris. He bolstered my faith, made me believe in myself when I badly needed reassurance. _Destroy the Gods if they come in your way_, he proudly declared, not once shuddering at the blasphemous words. _Or did he even believe in the existence of the Gods, outside the duel of cards?_ _Did he believe that he, a mere human, was strong enough to challenge the Divine? _But at that moment, he did make me share in his sentiment. And so I won, and came to possess the God of Osiris.

After that, we worked together -- reluctantly, of course, due to our history with (or rather, against) each other. At that time, I simply had no choice. My friends were in danger; Kaiba offered to help because he wanted to duel with me as soon as possible. As for me, all I wanted was to save my friends. It irked me that Kaiba was so calm while I was deep in anxiety.

Then came the bait. Dangling from a helicopter and crying out for help was someone whom Kaiba could not resist. The ghouls knew how to snare the proud Seto Kaiba. Through his brother.

It was the first time I've ever since the young man cry out in panic, seeing the most special person in his life hanging helplessly many feet in the air. As a result, Kaiba and I soon found ourselves fighting for our lives upon a glass rooftop. We were supposed to be a team; our opponents were, while Kaiba insisted on playing a one-man battle. Initially, he was too stubborn to cooperate. Thankfully, he was smart and quick enough to learn that some things just cannot be done alone.

He risked his monsters, his pride, his own life for my sake -- ironically, at a time when he was supposed to be hating me. When we were supposed to be hating each other. But we had entrusted each other with something so valuable, and so we gained our first victory together. I was his sense, and he was my power. He knew technicalities, while I knew the Heart of the Cards.

_There is a potential between us: Kaiba and I. We make a good team. We should do this more often._ Except he saw me more as a rival to be toppled, than a friend to be cared for. Yet the fact remains that Kaiba is capable of cooperating, of trusting, if he only put his mind into it. If he only had the proper motivation. I knew of only two: protecting his brother, and defeating me.

Throughout Battle City, it was his goal of defeating me that fueled his need to win every battle. It was there when he dueled against Ishizu, the mistress of the Millennium Necklace, who foretold that Kaiba would lose the duel. But I had other ideas. When Kaiba had stood frozen before the power of the Millennium Necklace, I strengthened him with my words. I declared that it was our destiny to battle each other in the finals, even when I knew that Kaiba scoffed the idea of divine powers and was unlikely to believe me. Yet I understood that it would bring him back, remind him of how much he wanted to duel against me. Thus he proved destiny wrong, and defeated Ishizu.

And I was glad that, at that moment, he believed me.

When I was in despair, when I thought that I would be lost forever in Noa's world, when I thought that I would fail in my resolve to save my friends and to save him, Kaiba was there. He pushed me to believe that I would win; all that I had to do was to trust in his deck, and in the process, trust him, as he had trusted me with his salvation. I regained my faith with his words and his presence, and eventually beat Noa and saved us all.

And then, after I had defeated him in Alcatraz, Kaiba gave me a card which he believed would aid me in defeating the Dark Malik. It was the Devil's Sanctuary, a card from the deck that he nurtured. It was a card I barely knew, but I trusted him. And I was glad I did, for without that card, I would've been plunged into the Shadow Realm and taken my friends along with me.

Once again, Kaiba saved our lives. I owe this masterful young man a huge debt of gratitude. Then again, he could have just repaid me for saving him from his own evil. After all, he was a man who knew how to pay his debts. When Anzu had saved his brother, Kaiba returned the deed, bravely and skillfully taking down the ghoul who had almost killed my friend. And, although he scorned us afterwards, I didn't mind; by that time, Kaiba has already earned my respect.

I was right, all along, in allowing him to live. He was too valuable a person to die.

By the time we left Battle City, my hostility towards Kaiba had already disappeared. And as I looked up at him, while he laughingly sped away in his Blue Eyes White Dragon jet, I felt him telling me that our paths would soon cross again. I smiled at the thought.

And our paths did cross once again. The conflict with the Organization of Doma, a doomsday group bent on taking people's souls in order to feed and resurrect the Leviathan of Evil, caused us to team up with each other. It seemed fate took every opportunity to bring us together.

Kaiba and I went together to regain the Kaiba Corporation, which Doma's leader, Dartz, had forcefully taken. I felt exhilarated, my strength and my faith magnified with knowing that Kaiba and I were fighting side-by-side. We sped through the halls of the Kaiba Corporation building, slaying monsters along the way. He was obviously protective of me (although I'm sure he wouldn't admit this), always making sure that I was safe, always checking if I was still there and that I hadn't gotten lost or captured.

We were a team again when we faced Dartz. We were locked inside the Seal of Orikalkos, which was ready to claim our souls the moment we lost. Kaiba was the first to fall. In the process, he transferred his life points to me and urged me to continue the battle.

I caught him in my arms when he fell, vulnerable and weak. It was the first time I had seen his eyes closely. They were blue, like the ocean, deep and full of secrets, hidden from attention by his perpetually stern expression. Those eyes made me promise to defeat Dartz and save the world. I promised without hesitation. Seto Kaiba was counting on me. Apparently, his faith in me was that strong.

And then he passed out. I became even more determined to beat Dartz and fulfill my promise to this noble young man. When I had beaten Dartz, and regained the souls of Kaiba, Jounouchi and Yugi, we all fought together to beat the Leviathan of Evil and eventually, regained the souls of the other people.

Since then, every time I heard about Kaiba, or saw him on posters or newspapers, I felt something strong in my heart. It was a feeling alien to me. No, it had been there all along, growing stronger with time, until it revealed itself, too powerful for me to conquer. Whenever I thought of Kaiba, my heart would beat wildly, and make me feel happy, sad, anxious and excited at the same time. I wanted to have Kaiba near me, where I could hear his voice and see his face, look into his eyes and hold him tight. It was a very pleasant feeling, yet intense and unbearable -- like it was sucking the life from me. _But... what was it?_ I was confused about it, so initially, I didn't tell my hikari anything, knowing that he would worry.

For some time, I didn't want to think about Seto Kaiba -- but I couldn't stop myself. Finally, I decided I could not keep silent about it any longer, and told my hikari about it.

"It's simple, my friend," he said with a smile. "You are in love with Seto Kaiba."

"Wha--?" I couldn't believe my ears. _You are in love with Seto Kaiba_, he had said.But... how? I thought I had heard it wrong, so I asked Yugi to repeat what he had said, over and over. And each time, Yugi just said the same thing.

"You are in love with Seto Kaiba."

I knew (or thought I knew) what love is, from Anzu's descriptions of it in the past, as well as from what I have read in literature of this era, but I have never felt it (at least, since I awoke from the Millennium Puzzle). And now, Yugi was telling me that I was feeling it... for Seto Kaiba? True, I respected him, wanted to protect him... and sometimes, even hated him. But... loved him? _No, it didn't seem right. It wasn't right. _I stared, confused, shocked -- scared -- for a long time.

Yugi brought me a cup of black tea and, placing his hand upon my cold one, gently said, "Let's talk about it, if it's alright with you..."

His kind voice eased my soul, and I nodded, hesitantly, proceeding to tell him my story...

_(to be continued)_

_Author's Note: On August 18, 2006, over two months after the last chapter of this fanfiction was posted, I went through this story again and found spelling and grammatical errors. I re-uploaded the story after correcting those errors. However, since I haven't saved my other A/N's in my computer, my notes in further chapters would not be included anymore. Thus, at this point, I would like to thank those who have read and reviewed my fanfiction. _


	2. Realization

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

Yami Yugi was shaken when I told him what I honestly thought. "You are in love with Seto Kaiba," I had told him. It was so obvious, based on what he had told me anyway, although my own judgment had its doubts. To tell the truth, I couldn't rationalize how anyone -- my yami, especially -- could fall in love with a man as cold and as arrogant as Seto Kaiba. I guess that I still haven't fully forgiven him for hurting my grandfather years ago. It may have been evident that Kaiba had changed, over the years, and he had become tolerable, but I still couldn't like him well enough to be a close friend.

Apparently, in our group of friends (or perhaps even in the entire population of the world, save Mokuba), it was only Yami Yugi who has had the opportunity (and the right) to properly relate with Kaiba. Given that, I guess it was possible for my yami to develop feelings for the man.

In other words, I was giving his heart the benefit of the doubt. And I would respect my yami's feelings no matter what.

I watched my yami as he gripped the cup, his knuckles whitened with tension. It was during one of those days when my yami would separate from my body and sit nearby, when we would have a chat about anything and everything. I was the only one who saw him, of course, so these days were rare; I wouldn't have wanted anyone -- not even Anzu or Honda or Jou -- to see me talking to thin air and think of me as a fool. Oftentimes, we would drink coffee or tea; somehow, even as a spirit, he managed to ingest these drinks. Or at least that was how it appeared to me; I honestly had no way of becoming sure about it.

Today, he didn't drink his tea. I had hoped he drank it, to calm himself. But he just sat there, with a puzzled blank look on his face, as he repeated the story -- in more detail -- that he had told me earlier. I listened patiently. My heart ached to learn that my yami was suffering from his feelings. Then again, I was glad he had finally found someone to love this deeply.

He asked for my opinion, and I gave it. I held back nothing; I told him what I honestly thought. I knew that my answer hurt him, but I owed my yami so much that I couldn't bear to give him half-truths. I knew that he was counting on my honest judgment, so I gave it to him.

When we were done, Yami Yugi retreated to his soul room. He shut off all communication between us. Even then, I knew that my yami was crying, and it touched my heart. I cried with him. I shared in his pain and confusion.

Suddenly, a noise from upstairs caused me to break away from my musing. I quickly wiped my tears and washed my face on the kitchen sink. When I felt that I had already gotten rid of the evidence, I turned to look at the stairs. Anzu, Honda and Jou descended, all ready in their casual wear. They smiled and I smiled back at them.

It was Jou who spoke first, as usual. "So, ready to visit the pyramids?"

**Chapter 2: Realization**

I realized my feelings too late. We were already in Egypt, and I was on my way to collecting my memories.

Well, it seemed there was no turning back now. And besides, after my talk with my hikari, I realized that loving Kaiba (I finally accepted the fact that I was in love with him) was not worth letting go of my mission.

I had asked my hikari for his honest opinion: "Do you think... Kaiba and I... have hope of becoming... together?"

Yugi looked at me with his soulful eyes and said: "Well, there is always hope, but..." and he looked away. He was silent for some time. I saw in his eyes he was thinking of how he would say what he wanted to say. Finally, he broke the silence, determination clear in his gaze: "Kaiba is a proud creature who denies himself any love. I think he would scoff at the idea of anyone loving him, you especially." And then more silence.

I nodded in agreement. I imagined myself approaching Kaiba and telling him about my feelings. Telling him about how I had fallen for his brilliance, his sacrifice, his chivalry and nobility. His pride. His mystery. His love. Telling him of how I wanted to be together with him, how my heart ached whenever I remembered him and realized he wasn't there. Telling him of my gratitude, for teaching me how wonderful it is to fall in love.

Asking if my feelings were reciprocated.

Seeing him laugh wildly at my face, scorn and disgust in his deep blue eyes. And then the words: Go away. Stay away from me.

Seeing him avoid me. Never seeing him again, never hearing his voice... Losing his trust, his respect and his friendship.

It would be too much for me to bear. I decided not to hope for a future with Seto Kaiba and to settle with what we had right now.

Yugi broke the silence. "To be honest with you, I find the idea of you and Kaiba together... frightening. I am scared, Yami Yugi, that he might just hurt you. He is cold, calculating and shrewd. I am scared that he might just use your love against you, Yami Yugi."

I must have scared Yugi with the expression on my face after he had said those words. His eyes suddenly widened, apparently in shock, and then went downcast. "I am sorry..." he said, his voice shaky. He looked as if he was about to cry.

I placed a hand on my hikari's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay..." I whispered inaudibly. "It's going to be okay..."

Part of me tried to deny the obvious, tried to say that my hikari was wrong, but I couldn't get the truth out of my mind. Deep inside, I agreed with everything that my hikari had said.

I secluded myself from Yugi afterwards. I locked myself in my soul room and dropped to the cold stone floor on my knees. There, I cried as loudly as I could, knowing the no one -- not even my hikari -- would hear. I shouted at fate, and damned it. I cursed the Gods for being merciless, for resurrecting my soul and giving me a ray of hope, only to take it away.

For allowing me to fall in love and letting me realize that it was hopeless.

For punishing me again and again for reasons I didn't know.

I hit the cold stone walls with my fists, with my feet, with my head, hoping that the bodily pain would help me forget the pain in my heart. It didn't work. Frustrations stabbed cruelly at my heart like a sword. I screamed and I lashed out, like a madman, until I was drained of my strength and I fell to the cold stone floor. There, I lay in the darkness, curled up in my arms, hoping that the Gods would have mercy on me and numb me senseless.

Apparently, they had other plans. I had not yet recovered from my realizations when I sensed my hikari knocking at my door. I stood from where I was and open the door. Yugi stood there, the God cards in his hand.

It was time. I knew what I had to do. I had to learn my past.

_(to be continued)_


	3. High Priest Seth

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

I now faced the stone tablet that was the portal to my memories. On it was engraved a recording of the momentous battle between me and my high priest, who greatly resembled Seto Kaiba. The Blue Eyes White Dragon and the Dark Magician hovered above us, both posed for attack and ready to kill, protective of their masters. I touched the engraving of the high priest. I felt vague memories come back to me -- mostly vision, barely any emotion. I stood there for some time, thinking and praying, half-hoping that something would happen to prevent me from getting my memories now (just like what happened before conflict with Doma) and give me another opportunity to be with my beloved.

My prayers were not answered. I knew that I was destined to get my memories soon.

I turned to my friends and gave them a light nod. To them, the nod may have meant that I was ready to face the upcoming challenges. To me, it meant they should be ready for whatever may happen. I was aware that I might never come back from the portal, that the enemy might defeat me in the world of my memories and cause me to cease to exist. If that happened, then at least I had already said my farewell and, in doing so, entrusted the life of my hikari to his closest friends.

They nodded back. I turned to the stone tablet and showed it the God cards. A bright glow, and I was taken from my hikari's body and hurled into the world of my memories. Ancient Egypt, three thousand years in the past. I arrived at the moment of my induction as Pharaoh of Egypt.

**Chapter 3: High Priest Seth**

I was surprised to see familiar faces. My advisor Shimon resembled Sugoroku, while the guardian of the Millennium Necklace, Isis, resembled Ishizu Ishtar. And then there was Seth, the previous incarnation of Seto Kaiba. Guardian of the Millennium Rod. My High Priest. I held my breath when I first lay my eyes upon him, as he knelt before me. He was beautiful: tanned skin, firm muscles, meaningful blue eyes. He was tall, proud and handsome. I knew that he was, in many ways, like Seto Kaiba. He left many questions in my mind as I looked at him. What was my relationship with him? Was he merely a faithful servant, or was he a friend? Or did he rival me and seek my power, just like Seto Kaiba did?

More importantly, had I been in love with him? Had he been in love with me?

I cleared my throat and mustered authority in my voice. "Stand, Priest."

Seth stood to his full height. There was no hesitation in his movement. From the throne where I sat, I gazed into his eyes. They carried pride and authority, but barely any arrogance. In fact, there was no hint of defiance -- only willfull submission. It startled me. I thought I was seeing things wrong.

Seth must have noticed that I was looking at his eyes, and that he was looking back at mine, for I saw him flinch. I remembered from Yugi's history class that subjects were not allowed to look at the eyes of the Pharaoh, for it was disrespectful, a sign of challenging the power of the Pharaoh. In most cases, such a crime was punishable by death.

"Forgive me, Pharaoh," he said, as he diverted his gaze from mine, "for my insolence."

For a moment, I was taken aback. This was not how Kaiba would act. If this were Kaiba, he would go on gazing, challenging my endurance, awaiting the moment that I avert my gaze and surrender. Seth's actions surprised me, and for a moment, I sat there, frozen, not knowing what to do. Then, I realized my priests were waiting for my word. I collected myself and gave him a nod. "Forgiven. Go back to your post, Priest."

"Yes, my Lord." Once again, without hesitation, he walked to his post.

In the midst of joy and celebration, my nemesis appeared. It was the Thief King Bakura. I didn't know how he had managed to get past the heavy security of the palace, until Shadi, keeper of the Millennium Key, had identified that this man had tremendous evil powers. A battle ensued. I saw how Seth took charge. For a moment, I thought I saw Seto Kaiba. Seth masterfully commanded the other priests as well as his monsters. He showed gallantry, bravery and strength. I saw how loyal he was to the Pharaoh, doing everything to protect me, at the risk of his own life. He never wavered from this, even when they all fell at the power of Diabound.

I decided to take action and protect him. I called for the power of Obelisk. My priests stared in awe, even as the battle with Diabound ended with a draw and the Thief King Bakura was able to escape.

That evening, I called for Seth to my study. He arrived almost immediately. He reverently knelt before me, his head bowed down, looking at the floor near my feet.

"How may I serve my Pharaoh?" he asked, humility apparent in his voice.

"Stand, Priest," I said, in the same tone that I had used a while back.

Seth promptly stood. At least a foot taller than I was, the High Priest had an aura of confidence and bravery, yet before the Pharaoh he was servile and humble. Strange. I didn't know that those things could go together in one man. Seth must have been trained for this.

"Now look into my eyes," I commanded.

I saw his throat move, apparently in nervousness, but he obeyed. I looked back into his eyes. His gaze didn't shift, his expression didn't change. He was there, simply looking at my eyes, just as I had commanded. I examined his eyes. I had not seen wrong when I looked at them back in the throne room. I came to a conclusion: This man, Seth, willfully obeyed the Pharaoh as a loyal subject. He would do everything that the Pharaoh commanded, and do everything in his power in order to protect his Lord. Even if he has to die, even if the Pharaoh tells him to kill himself, he would do it. He never questioned what the Pharaoh said; he simply placed his full trust and faith in the wisdom of his Lord.

Just like any loyal subject would. I sighed, and told him that it was enough. I commanded him, instead, to sit beside me at my desk.

"Let's talk," I said.

"Talk of what, my Lord?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Anything. Tell me about yourself, Seth. Where were you born? How did you come to the palace, and how did you become my High Priest? What do you think of me? What do you feel about me?" I looked at his face. A puzzled expression was on it. I heaved a sigh, closed my eyes and smiled. "Ah, forgive me, I didn't mean to ask so many questions..."

"No, Pharaoh, you need not ask for my forgiveness. I shall answer as you desire..."

"I wish for you to answer me honestly. Do not hold back any information from me, nor bother to think about how I would react, whether I would be pleased or angered. Just answer me freely. All I desire is for you to tell me the full truth."

"Yes, my Lord." And Seth went on to answer my questions. I saw that his gaze was still downcast, and that he chose his words carefully, but other than that, I sensed that he was answering in full honesty.

I learned that Seth was born in a village nearby, and that he didn't grow to know his father. According to his mother, his father had died on the battlefield, a brave soldier of the Pharaoh. (Later on, we learned that Seth was the son of Akhnadin, my father's twin brother and another one of my priests. Apparently, he had left his wife and his only child -- whose existence the Palace never knew -- in order to create the Millennium items. Seth never got to know him as his father until Akhnadin had become corrupted by the Dark Lord and expressed his wish for his son to become Pharaoh.) When he was in his early teens, his mother died when the village was burned down. It was the night when he had saved the beautiful blue-eyed white-haired maiden, the mistress of the White Dragon.

Since then, he had relied on his own strength and intellect. He devoured information from books, and learned how to do armed and unarmed combat. During his fifteenth year, his prowess caught the attention of the Palace, and he underwent training to become a priest. His teacher was Akhnadin, a very good man whose skill, patience and counsel he greatly admired. He became my father's High Priest at the age of eighteen. Later on, he became my High Priest. He was twenty-one, three years my senior. (Seto Kaiba, on the other hand, was physically about my age.)

_And what did he think about me? What did he feel about me? _I was eager to know.

"You are a great Pharaoh, my Lord," he answered, "And I admire you. I look up to you as my role model. I wanted so much to be like you. I have heard much about you from my teachers, and they all praised you for being wise and strong beyond your years. I trust that you would lead this country to peace and progress, my Lord. That is my honest answer."

For one to say that he admired the Pharaoh and wanted to be so much like the Pharaoh may imply that he wanted to become Pharaoh -- a foolish and punishable thought. It would also have been wrong for the Pharaoh to learn that his teachers had talked about him behind his back, despite the praises. From there, I knew that Seth had answered me honestly.

"And what are your dreams for yourself?" I asked him.

"I dream that, someday, I would once again find the woman I love, marry her and have a family," he answered simply.

I nodded. After that, I dismissed him and retired for the night. As he went out the door, I realized that I didn't feel even a twinge of jealousy in knowing that Seth already loved someone else. And I knew why.

Because Seth was not the man I love.

_(to be continued)_


	4. Justified

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

Seth may have been the previous incarnation of Seto Kaiba -- and thus, the two shared some connection in terms of spirit and memory -- but they were two different persons whom I felt differently for. True, I cared for Seth; after all, he was my High Priest, one of my best counsels (as I learned during my stay in the world of my memories) and a fiercely loyal subject at that. But I didn't love him. The man I loved was Seto Kaiba.

When I first came to the world of my memories, I experienced some confusion regarding the matter: about whether I loved one or both, that is. They were both intelligent, careful and calculating in handling their duels and their duties -- Seth as my High Priest, and Seto Kaiba as CEO of Kaiba Corporation. They both displayed strength and bravery in defending what they had vowed to defend, never faltering, risking their own lives if they deemed necessary. And they both carried themselves with pride and authority. The two men were similar in so many ways, even physically, that it was difficult to discern why I would love one over the other.

Then it came to me: their eyes. Seth's showed no hint of defiance as they looked at me. Before the Pharaoh, he was a mere servant who unquestioningly obeyed whatever his Lord had commanded him to do, regardless how simple or difficult, embarrassing or dangerous. It would have been easier if I had fallen in love with Seth instead. After all, I could have easily commanded him to reciprocate my love, thus avoiding the despair that hit my heart.

Instead, thanks to the cruelty of fate, I fell in love with Seto Kaiba. Kaiba was, unlike Seth, an independent creature. His eyes would have glared at me haughtily had I dared gaze at them. This man thought for himself, and did what he believed was right, not minding whether the whole world disagreed with him on the matter.

I remembered the time when Seth had become corrupted by the Dark Lord. It was to be the momentous battle recorded on the stone tablet. Seth had unleashed the White Dragon and destroyed my Dark Magician, causing me tremendous pain. He would have destroyed me then, too, had the mistress of the White Dragon not interfered. When Seth had regained control of himself, he took the lady in his arms and mourned her death. I realized then that this was the woman whom he loved.

I also realized that had Seth not become corrupted by the Dark Lord, the scene upon the stone tablet, the said prophecy of my fated rivalry with Seto Kaiba, would not have been. The true Seth would not have challenged his Pharaoh. But Seto Kaiba, in his right mind, would have challenged me. After all, he was my one true rival. My one true love.

After that battle was when I met Kaiba for the first time in the world of my memories. It was also my first time to see him after I had realized that I love him. Again, destiny was cruel; here, I meet him at a time when the world was hanging by a thread. I felt that I had to protect him; I urged him to find his way out, before the Lord of Darkness was resurrected. Kaiba just smirked at me, turned his back at me and said: "I don't give a damn about who you are in this world; I would not answer to you. I would stay here to see who is this Lord of Darkness whom the King of Duelists fears so much." I wanted to kick him for his foolishness then, but let him have his own way instead. After all, he was his own master. And I was glad he was because, later on, we worked together in a battle against the Dark Lord.

Kaiba would defy my reasoning, scoff at my beliefs and even insult me. Fight against me. Kill me if he felt he had to. He was a man who would love only if he chooses to love. Kaiba's heart was free to choose its own path.

It was one of the reasons why I love him... and why I hated myself. For loving him.

**Chapter 4: Justified**

In the world of my memories, I managed to destroy the Dark Lord with the help of my hikari, Yugi. Three thousand years ago, I had sacrificed my soul and sealed away my memories in the Millennium Pyramid -- now the Millennium Puzzle. When the puzzle was solved, my spirit was freed, but my memories were not. My mission had been to recover my lost memories.

Now my mission was over. Pharaoh Atem, whose soul has been bound to this world for three thousand years, could now move on and rest in peace.

When we returned to Yugi's world (and I to Yugi's body), we met the spirit of the priest Shadi. He told us that the door to the afterlife could not be opened until I, the Pharaoh, was beaten in a duel.

I looked at my companions one by one: Anzu, Jou, Honda... Seto Kaiba. My eyes lingered for a long time at Seto Kaiba. His eyes looked back, seemingly trying to decipher my gaze. Finally, he closed his eyes and showed his trademark smirk. "Very well. I would duel you," he said. He took his deck from his pocket. "I have been waiting for this chance for a very long time, Yami Yugi. But don't take it easy on me just because you desperately want to leave."

_No, you have gotten it wrong, Seto Kaiba!_ I had wanted to scream. I was actually looking at them, trying to decide on whether I should duel or not. If I duel, and lost, I would move on to the afterlife. But then, that would mean I would be parted from my friends. And I would be parted from Seto Kaiba.

"Can't you just delay this duel, Yami Yugi?" Anzu said, fear and sadness in her voice. "We would still love to see you... Yami Yugi..."

I looked at her, then at Kaiba, and then at Shadi. _Could I? _I had wanted to ask.

Shadi seemed to have read my mind. He looked down solemnly. "You could if you want to, Pharaoh. It is, after all, your choice -- whether to move on to the afterlife or to be bound to this world for the next few years. However, as you have already recovered your memories, there is no way for you to cease to exist."

"Well, isn't that a good thing?" Jou suddenly interjected, jolting all of us from the tense atmosphere. I saw Kaiba mouthing: _Shut up, mutt. _I smiled, amused at his attitude.

Shadi ignored the exchange. "In the event that your hikari passes on, and loses his body, so shall you."

"Whoa!" Jou exclaimed. "Let's not be too morbid here, okay? There's no way Yugi would die, right, Yugi?" he said with a wink.

Kaiba heaved a sigh. Apparently, he was trying to put reins on his temper. I, on the other hand, merely looked at Jou. I had wanted to say: _You'll never know. I died young, without warning. And so did many of my people._ But I also didn't want to add to the sadness in the room, so I just kept quiet.

"And what would happen after that?" I asked.

"It means you would lose your vessel. There would be no way for you to perform physical deeds, no way for you to duel. In that case," and Shadi looked up, his tone more serious now, "you would never arrive in the afterlife. Your consciousness will be bound to this world... for eternity."

_My consciousness... bound to this world... for eternity!_ I gasped, visions suddenly overwhelming me. Memories I desperately wanted to forget. Darkness.. cold... silence... all alone... insanity... vision whirling, chest aching, lungs fighting for air, panicked voices calling out my name...

Blackness claimed me and I fell to the floor, senseless.

_(to be continued)_


	5. Yugi

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

Although it was Yami Yugi's consciousness that was dominant in my body at that time, I was also fully aware of what was happening. It was just like those times when we were on a duel. I saw what he saw, heard what he heard, felt what he felt.

So when Shadi had said those words, I also experienced my yami's terror -- at least, for a moment, until he cut off our mind link. I found myself thrust to my soul room, against my will, the door suddenly shutting locked before me. I feared for my yami. Whatever he was experiencing must be so painful and frightening that he did not want me to share in it. He was always like this, always protecting me. I often wished he didn't, and allow me to share in the pain. At least, we would be in it together, so it wouldn't be as terrible.

But he was always in it by himself, all alone. And I was always left helpless, with no way of helping him.

Still, I wouldn't be sitting here, waiting for a miracle to happen. I ran to the door, fiddled with the doorknob, banged my fists repeatedly on cold steel. Nothing. I screamed out his name over and over. No response.

My yami's psychic defenses are awfully strong. But I wouldn't give up.

Finally, the lock gave way, by itself. Yami Yugi must have blacked out. I opened the door and found him lying on the floor, curled up in his arms. I sat down and gently lay his head upon my lap. His face was serene, his breathing even and natural. Whatever had scared him must be over now, as unconsciousness has claimed him in its merciful embrace and spared him from further suffering.

**Chapter 5: Yugi**

My soul awoke. I found myself on my hikari's lap. I realized that we were in the chambers of our mind. Then, I had not yet regained my senses in the physical world.

I strained to stand up, but the throbbing pain on my head and chest made it difficult for me to move. My hikari must have seen the expression of pain on my face, for he placed his hand on my chest and gently pushed me back down. He hushed me and softly told me not to push myself further. So I lay back down and waited for the pain to subside.

For a long time, we stayed there, still and silent. No words were said, but we both knew that we were exchanging something between the two of us -- something that cannot be explained, only felt. It was a bond deeper than that shared by twin brothers. I decided to let the moment last for as long as possible, as somehow, I knew: this would be the last time that my hikari and I would be doing this.

Finally, I broke the silence: "I should be going back now." I stood up and prepared to return to the physical world.

"Wait," he said, pulling on one leg of my pants. I turned my head towards him.

"What is it, aibou?" I asked.

"You still haven't told me what caused you pain..."

Again, my hikari must have seen something unpleasant cross my face. He flinched, turned his head away and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry..." he murmured. "I'm so sorry..."

I said nothing. I just looked at him. Although I had wanted to lull his sadness, I didn't want to tell him what he wanted to know. It would be too painful; I didn't want my hikari to learn about my suffering. Instead, I just knelt down and caressed his hair, trying my best to comfort him.

"I just wanted to share in your pain, that's all," he said, still not looking at me.

"I'm sorry, aibou, but I fear... you might..."

He jerked his head towards me and looked at me straight in the eye. "I am strong, aren't I, Yami Yugi? You've said so yourself before, right?"

I was startled by his response, but I couldn't help but smile at the determination that I saw in his eyes. "Yes. You are strong indeed, aibou..."

"So why won't you let me share in your pain?" He was yelling now. I could sense the frustration in his voice.

I didn't know what to say, how to comply to his request, if I should. I was hesitant, of course; I wished to protect my hikari from my suffering. However, he wanted so much to help me... I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do.

"Everytime," he continued, his voice trembling, "you would lock me in my soul room, I knew you were in pain. You would leave me there, until the pain is over. Do you think that has spared me from any pain? No! I... I hurt because I knew you were hurting, knew you were in pain... Knew you were all alone in that experience. Knew that I could do nothing, never did anything..." His tears began to fall. "Never been able to help..."

I placed my hands on my hikari's face and wiped away the tears that stained his cheeks. Again, I looked into his eyes, which were wide and innocent and trusting... making me want to punish myself for being the inconsiderate fool who made this angel cry. Suddenly, I regretted the times when I had locked him away, thinking that it was for the best, thinking that it had spared him and protected him, but instead had left him suffering alone. I regretted the lost moments, which we should have gone through together, as two halves of one soul, sharing in the happiness, the sadness, the anxiety and the pain...

I hated myself for being the coward who was afraid of letting others see him suffer.

I brought my hikari to my chest, let him sob away his troubles. I caressed his hair, patted his back, tried my best to comfort him and ease his pain, as I whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry... Forgive me..." again and again. I felt tears roll down from my own eyes, but I didn't mind. Right now, my hikari and I were sharing in our pain.

Finally, when we had both calmed down, I asked him: "Are you sure?"

He gave me a confident nod. I stood up, took his hand and lifted him to his feet. "If that is what you wish... Then..." And I opened the door to the most painful experiences of my life...

_(to be continued)_


	6. Torment

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

**Chapter 6: Torment**

A long, long time ago, I awoke with my mind a virtual blank. I had no memories, knew nothing -- not even a language, not even an inkling of who I was or what I was. I felt like I had just been born -- only that, unlike a newborn child, I had the capacity to easily receive and keep memories and sensations; that, I was sure of. Thus, my memories began at that moment when I first opened my eyes and became aware of my consciousness.

_But... where was I?_

All I could see... was nothing. And it was cold, and piercingly silent. Occasionally, I would hear what I later found out to be drops of water, or the whispers of the wind, or the booming drumming thunder. I was always glad whenever I heard those sounds; that was how I became certain that I could hear. Furthermore, they broke the tedious silence, and gave me something to look forward to.

Other than that, there was nothing. Nothing to see, nothing to do.

I would then fall into unconsciousness. For how long, I didn't know. And then I would awaken, to the same nothingness. To the same cold. And then fall into unconsciousness once again. It always felt pleasant whenever I fell into unconsciousness because, then, I wouldn't be feeling anything. It was wonderful not to feel anything.

I hated the boredom. I hated not having anything to do.

I hated it whenever I woke up. Whenever I realized I had awakened, I would try my best to slip into the wonderful oblivion again. To no avail. I would have to wait for it to arrive, and it always took so long. Months? Years? Decades? I didn't know. I never wanted to know. It was tormenting. The silence was tearing me apart. The darkness was driving me to the brink of losing control. The cold was piercing through the center of my existence. I wished that I would just lose control. Or, better yet, cease to exist. But it never happened.

Finally, I decided I was tired of not having anything to do. Somehow, I knew I had to do something! I began to explore the capabilities of my consciousness. Somehow, I learned that I had to capacity to move. _Why had it taken me so long to learn this? _But I didn't mind; I was overjoyed to learn that I had that ability. _Now I had something to do! _

Bit by bit, I moved around. At first, it was exhausting, dragging myself through what I later learned to be the floor. But I was glad to feel the sensation of being exhausted. It was a new feeling. Most of all, I was glad to find myself moving. Then, I began to ease myself upward, away from the floor. I made use of what I later found out to be legs. At first, I fell back to the floor. But I was determined. I would ease myself upward, then fall, then ease myself upward again. Until I learned to stand on my own. And, later on, walk on my own.

I walked around. Everywhere, it was the same nothingness. I began to feel that my learning how to walk was useless.

Until one moment... something new and beautiful arrived at my existence. It was just a tiny speck, in the midst of nothingness, and it hurt my eyes. But I loved it, knew that I had to experience it more! I walked towards it, faster and faster, finding the contentment in the center of my existence grow. It must have been the most exciting moment of my existence then. As I approached it, so it grew, and I continued to walk faster and faster, trying my best to reach it...

And then, unconsciousness claimed me, at the worst possible moment. When I regained my senses, I found that I had been plunged back into nothingness. Despair hit me and for a time, I didn't want to move, didn't want to explore, in case I find that my efforts would just be in vain.

And so was my existence for a very long time...

Until something came to change it. The sounds were different from what I usually encountered. They came in different ways and, somehow, I felt them to have some sort of meaning. I listened, eager with my new discovery.

The sounds became louder, nearer. Better. And then the tiny speck that I had once found, which had once broken nothingness, came nearer. For the first time, I came to learn that the nothingness I had always known hid something beautiful beneath, if only the tiny speck that hurt my eyes would exist nearby. I didn't comprehend what I saw; they were figures that I couldn't make out, but I didn't care. I stood where I was and watched. It was the first time I had ever had something to watch.

One figure came nearer. And then a deafening sound, like thunder. The figure fell, almost swallowed by the darkness, with only his hand holding onto cold stone. I instantly felt a connection to this figure and decided that I have to rescue him from the darkness. I walked to him. As I came nearer, the connection grew; I learned my first vestiges of language. I reached out a hand to him and said, what my heart has been dying to say for a very long time...

"I have been waiting for you."

I pulled him away from the darkness and rested him on the stone.

For the first time, I felt that my existence already had meaning.

_(to be continued)_


	7. Before the Duel

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

After Yugi Mutou solved the Millennium Puzzle, my soul was released. As I had no body to reside in, I stayed in his. It was through him that I was able to have my first human interactions, my first dealings with twenty-first century civilization. My first taste of civilized human knowledge. When my soul was released, I came to learn from the contents of his mind. I learned the various aspects of Japanese culture (since Yugi is a Japanese boy), including the language. I learned how to operate the technology of his world. Most importantly, I learned the rules of the card duels. The spirit of friendship. The Heart of the Cards.

I owed this all to the man whom I had saved from the darkness back then, when I was still trapped in nothingness. The man's name is Sugoroku, and he is Yugi Mutou's grandfather. Apparently, the nothingness that I had been experiencing was the insides of a cold dark tomb hidden somewhere in the sands of the Sahara Desert. It was a tomb unseen by human eyes for thousands of years, until Sugoroku, an archeologist, managed to get past its many traps and find the secret that lay within. One of his companions, a greedy treasure hunter, had tried to kill him using a gun, causing him to almost fall into the dark bottomless pit from which I saved him. It seemed that his companions had either left, gotten lost, or died, as Sugoroku found himself alone afterwards.

Sugoroku took home the pieces of the Millennium Puzzle. It was later solved by his grandson Yugi. Since then, I have been thankful, for I finally learned how it was like to be truly alive.

**Chapter 7: Before the Duel**

By the time the painful experience had finally passed, Yugi's arms were clinging tightly around my waist, his face pressed hard upon my chest. The task of empathizing with me in my difficult experiences as a spirit of the Puzzle must have been hard for him to bear. Still, I was amazed at his endurance; when we were there, he never seemed to feel that he wanted to quit. And neither did I, amazingly; it must have been the fact that we had been holding hands from start till end that made it much easier. Before, when I relived this experience (against my will), I would force myself into unconsciousness, just so I wouldn't have to go through it again. Now, everything had been easier.

After all, we were in this together. I smiled, silently thanking my hikari for sharing in my pain and my burden.

"We are back, aibou," I whispered, as I gently coaxed his arms from me. "There is no more to fear."

Yugi slowly lifted his face from my chest. I could see his eyes glistening. He cautiously looked around and, when he seemed assured that there was no more danger, let out a sigh of relief. Then he looked up at me, his eyes brimming with tears, silently asking for reassurance. I tried to hush him with a gentle embrace.

"Is that why..." he asked in a shaky voice, "you wanted so much to recover your memories? And go on to the afterlife?"

"Yes, aibou," I said. "I fear that the time may come when I would be left alone, with no way to escape... I do not wish that to happen again."

"I also wish it won't, Yami Yugi. It must have been terrible, so terrible!" He placed his face upon my shoulder and began to sob. I caressed his head, trying to comfort him. "If there was a way I could help," he continued, "then I would do it. And I would do my best!" He pulled away from my shoulder and looked at me straight in the eye. "Let me duel against you, Yami Yugi!"

I was startled by his request, but when I saw the determination in those teary eyes, I couldn't help but smile. I nodded in response. "And I promise it shall be a real duel," I assured him. "I will not be holding back; I will be doing my best, even if I desire for you to win." Slowly, I straightened up. "Then it's about time I go back," I said. "Kaiba and the others must be worried by now."

_Kaiba... _I felt something inside me stir when I thought about him. Furthermore, I realized that I had mentioned his name instead of what I usually did: mentioning Jou or Anzu or Honda. Yugi must have noticed the slip; he managed an impish smile, and teasingly asked: "So, would you tell Kaiba about how you truly feel for him?"

I was taken aback for a moment, kept glued to where I was. I had been thinking about it the past few days, but I have yet to arrive at an answer. I looked at my hikari; his eyes were eager for my reply. So, I heaved a sigh, closed my eyes and pondered right there. And I knew what I would have to do...

Slowly, I shook my head and mouthed "no." A look of disappointment crossed Yugi's face and, almost yelling, he asked: "Well, why not? This might be your last chance, Yami Yugi. You might as well take it! Tell him how you truly feel!"

"Right now, Kaiba regards me very well, aibou," I said in reply, "and I wish him to regard me well until the end of his life. If I told him I love him, and he comes to resent it, then he would be resenting me until the end of his life -- perhaps, even beyond. I would have no chance to make it up to him, and I'll just come to regret my decision for eternity."

"But Yami Yugi--"

"This time, aibou, I'm not taking any risks. I've already made up my mind."

"You believe in destiny, don't you?"

"What do you mean by that? Well, yes, I do."

"The prophecy of the stone tablet, remember? You and Kaiba are destined to have a future together!"

I smiled. _Yugi certainly has a way of seeing things. He's so innocent, so optimistic... _"Against each other, you mean," I said in response. "The prophecy of the stone tablet is a prophecy of battle -- a prophecy that has been resolved for some time now. Furthermore, a three-thousand-year-old spirit has no future with a live young man. Spirits have to go to the afterlife once their bodies die and once their missions have been fulfilled. That is the course of nature and destiny."

"Yami Yugi--"

"I have to go," I told him in a firmer voice. "Prepare yourself for the upcoming duel." With that, I went back to the physical world.

I awoke to a strong unpleasant odor beneath my nose. Abruptly, I turned away from the irritating smell.

"Good, he's come to," said a deep masculine voice that made my heart beat faster. "Finally..."

I turned towards the sound. It was Kaiba! He was looking down upon me, examining my face, making sure that I was alright (or so it seemed). And Kaiba's face was mere inches from mine; I could feel his breath, hot and forced, upon my lips. Mustering my willpower, I resisted the urge to pull him closer.

He promptly stood up (much to my disappointment), projecting the same cool confidence that he always had. Anzu, Jou and Honda quickly rushed to my side, uttering frantic "Are you alright?"s and "Thank God you're okay now, Yami Yugi.."s. From behind them, I thought I saw Seto Kaiba's facial expression turn tender, seemingly relieved, for a moment. _Was I just seeing things? Or was it for real?_ _I wasn't certain..._

Promptly, his face turned back into the seriousness that he always sported. He then playfully bounced a red-and-white pack in his other hand. "Be thankful I have this with me, Yami Yugi, or you might have ended up sniffing the mutt's stinky feet. That would have been nastier, don't you think?" he said with a smirk.

"Why you son of a bitch..." Jou loudly muttered, glaring coldly at Kaiba.

"Correction, mutt. You're the son of a bitch, mutt," Kaiba said in response, putting emphasis on the last two words.

Jou was about to lunge at Kaiba when Anzu went between them and intervened. "Alright, that's enough! We've had enough worries for the day, sheesh."

"Yeah, you've got us really worried, Yami Yugi," said Honda. "What's up with the blackout?"

I sat up, noticing that my feet were resting atop of a pile of blankets. The upper part of my clothing had also been loosened. "Nothing much, really," I replied with a smile. "I must have been tired."

"You sure took a long time to go back," said Anzu.

"Well, thank you for tending to me, my friends... and Kaiba, thank you, too..." I gently said.

Kaiba crossed his arms and looked away. "You ought to have your pals here trained in first aid. Seriously, they were in panic and at a loss a while ago. You really had... everyone worried..." he said, his voice trailing and becoming a little softer at the last few words. I regarded him carefully. I saw him pull a handkerchief from his pocket and -- even with his face looking away -- I was sure I saw him quickly wipe his brow. _Had it been so warm? Or was Seto Kaiba so concerned about my condition? (Damn it, I should stop thinking about these questions!)_ Then again, he had always been concerned; he just never talked about it. But it always showed, as it did now.

"But don't think I was anxious for your sake," he continued, as he let out his trademark chuckle. "The sooner you woke up, the sooner we duel, the sooner I get to defeat you." He took his deck of cards from his pocket. "So now you're awake, let's duel!" he said, as he turned to me, his stance poised fiercely for battle.

"You're always such a jerk, Kaiba," Jou exclaimed, as he lept in front of Kaiba. "Why do you think you would be able defeat Yami Yugi?"

Kaiba smirked. " 'cause I'm good, that's why. And this isn't the business of any mutt. This is between just me and Yami Yugi, so step out of the way."

"Why you..." Jou's fist went for Kaiba's face. The taller duelist coolly stepped out of the way, causing Jou to stumble to the ground.

I stood up and regarded Kaiba. "Sorry, Kaiba, but you're not dueling against me this time."

Kaiba's eyes widened in surprise and fury. "What did you say?" he yelled.

"I've made a promise," I said, "to my other self. He would duel against me."

"Against that shrimp?" he interjected angrily, as he punched a nearby wall with his fist. "Damn it, Yami Yugi! There's no way that kid could possibly beat you! Only I deserve to battle against you! Only I have the capability to defeat you!"

Kaiba was starting to get into my nerves. As he always did. I mustered authority in my voice, but maintained my calm. "_That shrimp _can and will beat me, Kaiba."

He smirked. "So, you're just gonna give the victory to him? I have regarded you better than that, Yami Yugi. But it seems I have overestimated you."

"You ought to know that whatever the situation, I always do my best," I stated in reply. "And I won't be holding back any punches."

Kaiba crossed his arms and glared at me for a long tense moment. I felt my heart beat faster and my breathing tighten with each second, but I managed to glare back. I was determined to let my hikari duel against me; after all, I had made my promise. Finally, Kaiba looked away, a disappointed grunt escaping his throat. "Fine, have it your way," he said, as he re-pocketed his deck. He rested his back against the wall and proudly crossed his arms. "I'll just be here in case you need someone to beat you." Jou looked at Kaiba and stuck his tongue out, away from the other man's sight.

_Thank you, Kaiba_, I mouthed. I placed my hands on the Millennium Puzzle. It glowed, and I felt my soul taken from my hikari's body.

Now, I stood before Yugi.

"Thanks to your vessel," said Shadi, "you are able to perform physical feats even outside a body. It would be easier now since you have recovered your memories."

I nodded at my hikari. He nodded back, a look of fierce determination in his eyes.

We shuffled each other's decks, then placed our own decks into our duel disks. We moved away from each other, keeping a good distance for the duel to occur. The atmosphere in the room became more tense by the second, as Yugi and I took our places. Nobody spoke. Everyone held their breaths. This was the duel of destiny.

Hopefully, this would be my last.

"Duel!"

_(to be continued)_


	8. Farewell

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

The duel had been long and difficult, the audience hushed and glued to where they were. Even Jou, who was usually the noisy one. Perhaps, they were just as nervous as Yugi and I. Or, more likely, they didn't know whom to cheer for. If Yugi wins, then I would move on to the afterlife, and therefore, be parted from them. If I win, then I would lose another chance to rest in peace.

Thankfully, it was Yugi who emerged victor. Apparently, everyone was surprised, including Kaiba, whose eyes were widened with wonder after the duel. I was glad that he didn't accuse me of not doing my best; it had never been apparent throughout the duel who would emerge victor. I stared at my defeat with bravery, staving off the tears that threatened to fall. I didn't know if I wanted to cry because I had been defeated, or because I was proud that my hikari had displayed such great skill. Or because I was relieved with the hope that my soul would never suffer after this. I was never sure.

**Chapter 8: Farewell**

After the duel, Yugi fell to the floor on his knees, crying. I went to him and took him in my arms.

"I wish... I wish..." he said, his voice quaking, "you don't have to go, Yami Yugi. But this is the only way!" And he dipped his face into my chest and sobbed.

"This is my destiny, little one," I gently said, as I softly brushed my palm upon his back, "so don't cry. Now I can finally be free..."

I felt him nod. I gently held his head in my hand and placed a soft kiss upon his forehead. Then to my friends, I said, "I thank you for sharing with me your friendship and your love. Through my existence in your world, I have come to realize that if I hadn't been locked up in the Millennium Puzzle, then I wouldn't have met any of you."

Upon recovering my memories, I had thought that the only reward I obtained from freeing my people from darkness was an endless existence in nothingness. Then I remembered my friends and found that all the suffering had been worth it.

_Especially you, Kaiba. You are the one I have ever loved most. Even if my love is not reciprocated, I am still glad that I have come to meet you. Through you, I learned the wonderful feeling of being in love. _

_I just hope I could tell you this but I couldn't._

I looked at my friends. Yugi, Anzu, Jou, Honda... The tears were flowing freely as they found that this was to be our last goodbye. One by one, they came to embrace me and wish me farewell.

Then I turned to Kaiba. His face still held the same serious expression. We looked at each other quietly, communicating through our eyes with words unspoken. He was the first to break the silence.

"So, you're leaving for good?"

I gave him a solemn nod.

"So you finally got what you want..." he muttered.

I didn't respond.

"Are you really that eager to leave?" he yelled, stomping his foot. His teeth clenched, apparently in anger. "Damn you, Yami Yugi! Damn you! Damn you!"

My eyes widened. Nobody spoke, not even Jou.

"You were the only person who motivated me to duel, do you know that?" he continued, his head bowed down, his knuckles whitening with force as he squeezed his hands into fists. "And now you would just walk away... forever?"

_Kaiba..._ "This is my destiny, Kaiba..." I softly replied.

"Don't give me that destiny shit!" he screamed bitterly. "Destiny is only an excuse! People make their own future! You just ended yours right now!" Then he heaved a sigh, collected himself and straightened up, a stern expression on his face. "Have it your way, then." He abruptly turned and began to walk away. "Goodbye... Yami Yugi..." It was almost a whisper.

Kaiba cursed under his breath, then ran out the nearest door. I wanted to run after him, if just to see how he was doing...

"Yami Yugi..."

"Aibou..."

"You should go to Kaiba, and tell him how you truly feel. Please..." my hikari begged.

I thought about it, about how I've made up my mind to just leave things be. But then... my last meeting with Kaiba now had ended in resentment. For sure, he hated me already. So what have I got to lose? A lot more, perhaps. But I just had to risk it, if I wanted him to regard me well again.

I smiled at Yugi. "Alright. I will." I then looked at Shadi. "When will the gates of the afterlife be opened?"

"Anytime soon, Pharaoh," he replied. "But do take your time. They will remain open for you for as long as you remain in the vicinity."

"Then you've got to hurry, Yami Yugi!" my hikari exclaimed. "Kaiba might have decided to leave by now!"

I nodded and turned to leave. I didn't mind my other friends' inquiring comments that I half-heard as I ran out the door. Yugi should be able to take care of their questions.

Much to my relief, I found that Kaiba had not left as Yugi had feared. He was just outside the door, his back resting limply upon the wall, his teeth gritting forcefully, his thumb and forefinger pressed hard upon the ducts of his eyes, as if blocking the tears. It was the first time I've ever seen Kaiba in this state. He had always been reserved with his emotions (except anger, scorn and wonder... and sometimes, fear, even if he would deny it) and never threatened to cry, even during the most seemingly hopeless times. I gently placed my hand upon his shoulder. He suddenly turned, startled, jerking his shoulder away from my touch, as if it burned through his skin.

"Yami Yugi!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening. I saw that they were glistening with tears that threatened to fall. Then, immediately, he turned his face away from me, and cursed under his breath. His voice became firmer, more serious, with a hint of anger. "What the hell do you want? I thought you have already left."

"Kaiba... look at me..." I softly said, as I coaxed him to face me.

He jerked further away. I realized that now that I had seen him display his emotional vulnerability -- which he always hid from others -- he would hate me for as long as he would remember. I shuddered at the thought, and shook it away from my mind.

"I just have to tell you something," I said, "so listen."

He refused to look. His shoulders were trembling, and his breath hissed. He tried his best not to show any interest, but I told him what I wanted to say anyway. Deep in my heart, I was sure that he was interested in what I was going to tell him.

"You are truly a wonderful person, Kaiba, and I really appreciate you..." _No, that wasn't it. That wasn't just it._ I heaved in air and decided to tell him the full truth.

My voice was firm and steady. "I love you... Seto..."

Afterwards, there was silence. And then, Kaiba laughed scornfully and turned his face towards me. I could see the marks that his tears had left upon his cheeks. He quickly wiped them with the back of his hand and asked, with a mad evil grin, "Yami Yugi, have you gone insane? How the hell would..."

"I just know," I said, cutting him off. I placed my hand upon my heart and gazed upon him with tender eyes.

More silence, as Kaiba glared at me through his tears. "Is that all?" he finally said.

I nodded solemnly.

He took his sight away from me, cleaned his face with a handkerchief and collected himself. "Take care of yourself, Yami Yugi. I would always remember you as my one true rival. Farewell."

"Goodbye, Kaiba," I softly said, as I tried to hold back my tears. "You have always been an admirable duelist. Take care of yourself as well." I held out my hand in friendship. He took it, and we shook hands for the final time.

With that, he turned his back and left, walking straight to where he was bound to go. And then, he was gone. I heard the roar of an engine, and his Blue Eyes White Dragon jet flew past, then higher to the sky, until it was out of sight.

I stayed there for quite some time, just staring up at the sky through teary eyes.

A deep voice behind me said: "It is time, Pharaoh."

I turned. It was Shadi. I gave him a nod, and followed him to where the portal to the afterlife had opened. My friends were waiting nearby. My hikari was the first to approach me. "How did Kaiba react?" he asked.

When I didn't give him an answer, he just closed his eyes and shook his head in annoyance. Anzu took me in her arms, while Jou and Honda gently patted my shoulders. Yugi must have told them about my feelings for Kaiba. I was glad that they understood.

I pulled away from Anzu's arms. "I have to go now," I softly told my friends. "Till we meet again..."

"This will not be the last time that we would be seeing you, Yami Yugi?" my hikari asked, hope evident in his voice.

I smiled. "Someday, we will meet again, my friends. And after that, we shall be together for eternity..."

The door to the afterlife glowed, as bright and blinding as the noonday sun. Yugi, Anzu, Jou and Honda shielded their eyes from the glare with their hands. I looked at it, welcomed it, felt overwhelming joy in its presence. There, in the light, I saw familiar faces from three thousand years ago. My faithful priests Mahad, Isis, Shada, Kalim, Akhnadin, Seth; Mana and Shimon; and my father Akhnamkanum.

My father was the first to welcome me, with arms open wide. I walked over to him and let him embrace me. "I've missed you so much, my son..." he said, as he buried his face in my hair. "I am glad to have you back."

"It's been a long time, Father..." I said, as I buried my face in his chest. "You would never lose me again, I promise..."

With that, the door to the afterlife started to close. I looked back for one last time to see my friends sobbing and waving goodbye.

And then, the door was shut. After three thousand years, I was finally home.

_(to be continued)_


	9. Seto Kaiba

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

After the door to the afterlife had shut, the ground started to shake and the walls began to crumble. With the help of Shadi, my friends and I managed to make it out of the structure before it finally collapsed. Anzu, Jou, Honda and I stayed where we were for one more hour, silently remembering and praying for our friend, the Pharaoh.

We went back to Japan, and back to our usual lives. Everyone, including me, returned to school. Anzu went back to her part-time job in the local cafe, still hoping to earn enough money to go to dance school. Jou and Honda, as usual, were spending time having fun and being carefree. Well, I was thankful they never got into trouble with their antics.

As for me... Well, let's just say it had been easier for my friends to adjust to go back to their normal lives. The Millennium Puzzle was not in my possession anymore; it had been returned to its rightful place: beneath the sands of the desert, hopefully to be lost forever. Most importantly, ever since the Pharaoh had left, it felt as if an integral part of my heart had been taken away. For some time, I felt incomplete. There were evenings wherein I would feel lonely and call for the Pharaoh to comfort me. Then, I would sadly remember that he had already passed on, and I would have to cry myself to sleep.

For the first time in years, I was on my own.

The story of Atem, Pharaoh from three thousand years ago, had finally been resolved. One thing eluded me, though: Back then, when I had asked Yami Yugi about Kaiba, he didn't give me an answer. I never found out how Kaiba reacted to Yami Yugi's confession of love -- that is, if Yami Yugi was able to reach Kaiba on time and make the confession. I never knew.

I guess that was something I was never meant to find out. Kaiba was too far away, managing his businesses in America, and even if he were nearby, I wouldn't dare raise the question, for obvious reasons. The only times Kaiba had ever made the move to communicate with us was when Yami Yugi -- and their rivalry -- was involved. Now, Yami Yugi was gone, and Kaiba would not have anything to do with us. I guess, in his eyes, we didn't deserve his attention; only Yami Yugi ever did.

**Chapter 9: Seto Kaiba**

During the time that I had known him, Yami Yugi made two major mistakes. Believing in destiny was one. Falling in love with me (or so he claimed) was another.

For the King of Duelists, Yami Yugi is -- was surprisingly, bewilderingly stupid. I came to that conclusion on _that_ day -- when he said that he would leave forever. It made me occasionally wonder if I was right in regarding him as my one true rival. Then again, he had always been excellent in handling his cards. I was witness to that. He somehow always knew how to maximize the deck that he had, whether he owned it or not, regardless of how much or how little attack power it had in itself. He was brilliant on the battlefield, I must admit, and therefore worthy of being my rival. Too bad he didn't handle his life as well as he managed his cards. In fact, he sucked at handling his life, making a below-average choice of companions and easily falling for sentiment (outside the duel arena, thankfully). Furthermore, he relied heavily on destiny -- much the same way the dumb mutt relied on dumb luck in his duels.

Yami Yugi's choices, ultimately, made his future. A future that ended when he _decided_ to lose -- an event that he would always credit to some three-thousand-year-old "prophecy."

Playing cards and living a life must be two wildly different things.

Except for me, for a time. Cards had been my life. When Yami Yugi came along, they became my obsession. My quest to defeat him towered over other priorities and spurred me to become better.

With him gone, I was uncertain if I could go on living. But for the sake of my brother Mokuba, I would. For as long as I breathe, for as long as blood flowed through my veins, I would have a future to look forward to. The past, I would just have to discard. Like I always did. Or tried to do.

I never believed in destiny. My own life was my proof to that. When I did bother to think about it, I saw just one thing: that everything I am is of my own doing. I had marked my own future for each choice that I had made. Like when I had decided to impress the rich and powerful Gozaburo Kaiba with a chess game back in the orphanage. If I hadn't done that, then I wouldn't have become his adopted son. Or his slave, more appropriately. I wouldn't have gone through years of unspeakable torture under that deranged old man. That choice, wrong or right (depending on your viewpoint), had been the turning point in my life. Soon, I became CEO of Kaiba Corporation (much to the chagrin of my adoptive father, who decided to commit suicide) and a world-class duelist.

But it did have its setbacks. Before that, I had known happiness. Now, I couldn't tell the difference between joy and insanity. Which made me wonder why Yami Yugi would bother to love me -- that is, if he did, as he had said on _that _day. That is, granted that love exists, _if _it does exist. Until now, I couldn't determine what had pushed him to do that, to say those words to me. "I love you... Seto..." he had said, making use of my given name instead of my more formal surname. Was it a challenge? A riddle? A vain attempt to console me, if I did need to be consoled? I wasn't sure about that. But I was sure of one thing: my choices have made me into the heartless trash of a man that I am; only a fool would ever love me. Yami Yugi didn't even justify; he just pointed at his heart and said that he just knew. _How could you possibly know the existence of such a confusingly abstract thing without proper justification?_

The night I arrived in America, I flung myself on my bed, but found I couldn't sleep. I just had too many things to think about.

_Yami Yugi, who are you, really, to me?_

I hissed in annoyance at what went through my mind. _Damn it, I shouldn't be wasting my time thinking about these things. _I grabbed the nearest pillow and whacked my face with it. The thought didn't leave my brain, unfortunately.

I thought I had accepted that Yami Yugi was forever a part of my past. After we had parted, I turned and never looked back, and left the place as fast as I could. I realized that I should have left sooner. It had been my mistake to stay, to let me be overwhelmed by everything that had happened. To shed tears in public; Yami Yugi shouldn't have seen that. No, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Seto Kaiba _never_ wept, not even in the privacy of his own bedroom. I must have been so tired that day.

Then again, I couldn't help thinking what was the true reason behind my tears. Maybe there was more than one reason. I could only assume.

First, and more apparently, Yugi Mutou had deprived me of my only chance to defeat Yami Yugi. Don't get me wrong. I knew that Yami Yugi would never hold back punches, especially against me. But I had wanted every opportunity to duel against Yami Yugi. I must be a masochist, half-knowing from experience that Yami Yugi could easily beat me, easily wound my pride, again. But I couldn't resist the thrill of participating in such a challenging battle.

A huge part of me had wanted to be the one who would defeat Yami Yugi and send him to the "afterlife" that he so desired. But, frighteningly, another part of me had wanted to yield, to allow Yami Yugi to stay. After all, he was my only rival. If he weren't my opponent, my participating in duels would be meaningless. I detested even the victory I had over Siegfried von Schroeder in Kaibaland. I felt it was empty; the ridiculously pink-haired von Schroeder metrosexual would never come to par with Yami Yugi.

Second was the fact that he left, of his own will. Carried by his so-called fate, which, in fact, he had chosen to follow. Regardless, the thought of never being able to duel against and with him was... something I don't want to think about.

_Who was Yami Yugi to me, anyway?_

He was, foremost, my only rival. He was the only one who ever truly deserved to face me in a duel. Or to be my partner in battle.

He was the one who punished me for torturing a helpless old man, then saved me from the darkness that had eaten up my soul.

He was the man who almost tried to kill me in Pegasus' tower.

He was the man who tag-teamed with me against the ghouls (whose names I couldn't remember) on a skyscraper, with the knowledge that the one who lost his life points would lose his life. He jolted me into realizing that I could not do everything on my own. We had entrusted ourselves in each other's hands back then.

He was the man who defeated me in Battle City, and then went on to defeat Malik Ishtar. But not without my help, of course.

He was the man who worked side-by-side with me to regain Kaiba Corporation, and then in a duel against the eccentric Dartz. He was the only one outside my family for whom I had given up my life.

He was the only person for whom I would do everything within my power, if only to be given another chance to be dueled against.

He was Yami Yugi, and he was...

he was...

_Forget it. I need to sleep._

_(to be continued)_


	10. The Afterlife

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

**Chapter 10: The Afterlife**

"Welcome home, Pharaoh!" my loyal subjects said in unison as they all knelt reverently before me. There must have been thousands of them -- ranging from palace servants to commoners to my faithful priests -- welcoming me to the afterlife. It was a touching reality: to be reunited with all of these people for whom I had sacrificed my life and my soul three thousand years ago, and to find them happy and grateful for my efforts. I was now more assured than ever that each one of them was worth all the pain that I endured.

My father placed his arm around my shoulder. I looked up at him and smiled. And he smiled back. Through the light of the morning sun, I saw that my father was now younger than I ever remembered; why, his face seemed to have lost more than ten years, and we looked as if we were only brothers! Yet, unmistakably, he was my father; it showed in his eyes and in his smile, while I felt it -- and knew it -- in my heart.

My father, my priests and I were ushered to a huge room, with walls and floors made of large golden bricks that were painted with traditional designs of Ancient Egyptian times. In the middle of the room was a long banquet table -- coated with bronze and decorated with set baubles of sapphire, emerald and ruby -- upon which were courses of every description. The precious metals and jewels of the room shone with great intensity that they matched the glare of the morning sun, yet surprisingly, I felt no discomfort in its presence. With a motivating gesture from my father, I reluctantly sat at the end of the table, like I was the most esteemed person in the group, while my father took a length seat immediately at my right side. And all my priests and members of court took various seats along the length of the table. Seth, my High Priest, took the seat immediately to my left.

I looked at the people on the table, one by one. Their faces beamed with happiness and warmth, evidently awaiting my response.

"Well, what is all this for?" I asked.

Shada answered: "Every time a pharaoh passes on to the afterlife, a huge feast is held in his honor. It is a tradition here in the afterlife, in celebration of a successful journey from the physical world. A similar banquet had been held before for the Pharaoh Akhnamkanum, who was before you, and the Pharaoh Seth, who was after you." Both my father and Seth nodded in agreement.

"We have been preparing for this feast for the past three thousand years," Isis calmly added. "We all hope that you'll enjoy it, my Lord."

I nodded. "I know I shall. Let us all feast then." I raised my goblet, which was filled with fragrant red wine, and then drank. I absentmindedly licked my lips; the wine was the best that I had ever smelled and tasted. Everyone did as I did.

We all feasted on salads and meat pies and fruit and wine. No food on Earth came close in quality to the food on the banquet. I started to think that everything in the afterlife was indeed perfect.

And yet... There were many questions in my mind. Questions nagging, waiting impatiently to be answered.

But I had more patience. I felt that this banquet was not the proper venue for my questions, since everyone didn't seem to be eager to talk about serious matters. So I decided to relax and have fun and keep the questions at bay, for the time being.

The banquet had been an entertaining affair. There were dancers and jesters and acrobats who performed one breathtaking act after another. I was so amused by their performance, that I called for them and praised them one by one. It was evident in their actions that they were pleased that I was pleased; they each bowed down many times and thanked me more than twice as much. I couldn't help but smile at their appreciation.

My priests and members of court also swapped stories and jokes, like they usually did during banquets held in my father's honor back on Earth. As for my case, the banquet that was held in my honor back then had become a venue for serious discussion on how to defeat the Thief King Bakura and his invincible Diabound. No wonder I appreciated this afterlife banquet so much. Furthermore, I noticed that everyone was more at ease with each other, with members of court freely and unabashedly joking with Seth and my father, who both seemed to appreciate the humor even at their expense. Before, everyone had seemed to follow some code of honor, and had reservations with their words. Apparently, rank didn't matter here as much as it had mattered on Earth. Or perhaps everyone have just had too much to drink.

When the meal was over, and the servants have cleaned the table and dealt with the leftovers, I personally asked Seth to tour me in the afterlife. Being a former Pharaoh, and my former High Priest, he was best suited for the task, in my opinion. He should be able to answer my questions, which I should be able to ask with ease.

We spent about an hour walking around vast gardens of lilies of various colors, with petals swaying lightly with the morning breeze, and date trees lush with fruit. Seth, who walked reverently at my right and a few steps behind, introduced me to everything and everyone that we passed by as we headed for the river. I couldn't help but notice that everything seemed similar to the Ancient Egypt that I had ruled over.

_If only these were the streets of Domino, and the man at my side were Seto Kaiba..._ I bit my lip and closed my eyes, as I tried to shut the thought away.

"Are you well, my Lord?" Seth asked in a concerned tone. "Perhaps, we should be going back..."

"Oh no, I'm fine," I said in reply. "Let us proceed." Seth and I continued to walk until we reached the riverbanks. It reminded me greatly of the Nile. I gestured for both of us to sit, and he followed. And as we sat there, staring at the clear blue water, I asked Seth about what had happened after I had sacrificed my soul to the Millennium Puzzle.

According to Seth, he found out from reading the archives of the afterlife library that peace reigned in Egypt for a few hundred years, while the people remembered my sacrifice in their hearts and dedicated themselves towards building and maintaining an orderly nation. However, as time passed by, the people began to forget, and started to become corrupted by evil, indulging in sin and vices and irresponsibility. The once flourishing nation of Egypt started to deteriorate. And then, one evening, invaders came from the desert and ransacked the villages, and soon, the Palace. The people were caught unaware, unready. In panic, they tried to remember what they had forgotten. But it was too late. Egypt had already fallen.

As he narrated, I nodded every once in a while, recognizing many of what he had told me from lessons in Yugi's history class.

"And how was your reign? Tell me," I asked him interestedly.

I noticed him sigh, a small smile upon his lips and a sparkle in his eyes. "I did my best to continue your legacy, my Lord," he replied. "The people were strongly united. Invaders frequently came to our lands, but we managed to drive them away. I believe my reign had been peaceful. And progressive in the arts and sciences. I am proud of my reign, my Lord. And it was all thanks to you."

"And I am also proud of you, Seth," I said. "I have not been here for a day, yet I could see that the people clearly love you. How did your life proceed? Did you have a family?"

The smile left his face, and he became more solemn -- even sad. "I never forgot about Kisara," he said, referring to the mistress of the White Dragon, "and I loved her until my dying day. Her spirit rested in me, and I was content to have her. But I had to have an heir, so I was forced to marry a young girl, a priestess-in-training and a friend of mine. She was beautiful and intelligent and kind, and resembled Kisara in many ways, but..." his voice trailing, as he rested his chin upon his knees, "she wasn't Kisara, and I never loved her. And she never loved me."

"I understand..." I whispered, remembering Seto Kaiba as I glanced empathically at Seth.

He hugged his knees with his arms. "We were both clear about it even before our wedding day. The girl even had a certain young man in her heart, and I told her many times that she may break our engagement and marry her love without fear of punishment. But she, like I, was determined to make sacrifices for the sake of the nation. And so, we were married and she bore me a son, who took over the throne when I passed away from fever at the age of thirty-five. He was only nine years old then."

"Is your family here in the afterlife?"

"Yes, my Lord," he said, smiling more brightly now, "and my wife has never been happier. She is now reunited with her true love. And so am I."

"I see..." I muttered, pleased that my first -- and most important -- question has been answered. Then, I noted something: "Seth, why do you -- like all the others -- continue to refer to me as your Lord, whereas you were, like me, a Pharaoh?"

"Because you have been the greatest Pharaoh," he answered simply. "No Pharaoh ever matched you in what you have done for Egypt."

"Speaking of which, is the afterlife really in the image of Egypt?"

"In this part of the afterlife, it is, my Lord."

"So there are other worlds in the afterlife?" I inquired, a sudden concern creeping through my heart.

"Yes, my Lord," he replied. "There are hundreds, each like a civilization in the physical world. When a person dies, his spirit goes to the world where his heart tells it to go, and it is almost always the civilization where he lived. But it was different in your case, my Lord, since you were bound to the Millennium Puzzle for three thousand years. You came to this world because we, your subjects, were the ones who led you here. Furthermore, in the afterlife, everyone looks as if they are at the prime of their life, regardless of their age at death." _That explains why my father looks so young..._

"The cause of death doesn't matter either," Seth continued. "What matters more is how one lived his life. Many are spending time in the dungeons because of evil that they have not yet paid for when they were still living. The time that they spend in the dungeons depends on the severity of their sins. On the other hand, those who have gained much merit when they were still living reign in the afterlife." I wondered if Bakura is locked up in a dungeon somewhere...

"Is it possible for a spirit to go from one world in the afterlife to another?" I asked, noticing some panic in my voice.

"It is," Seth replied. I suddenly felt relieved. "Even for you, my Lord, who came here due to special circumstances. But the spirit has to desire it so much. If it is merely for shallow reasons, like curiosity, then it cannot be done."

"I see..." My voice trailed off as I began to ponder.

My thoughts were broken by Seth's voice. "May I inquire something of you, my Lord? Something personal?"

I raised an eyebrow. This was the first time a subject of mine would ever ask a personal question. "Go ahead."

"Are you concerned because of Seto Kaiba?" he calmly asked. "Do you love him, my Lord?"

My eyes widened, as I stared dumbstruck at my High Priest.

_(to be continued)_


	11. Fragment

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

May the Pharaoh forgive me for my stupidity and insolence.

Without thinking, I had asked him _that _question -- and realized soon afterwards that I had committed an unnecessary crime. If I had been back on Earth and done this to a less merciful lord, my head would have been chopped off, and my body fed to wild beasts. Worse, the lord's mages would have damned me to suffer eternal torment in the afterlife's dungeons.

But the Pharaoh, praise the Gods, has a blessed heart. He assured me with words that I had done him no harm. Yet the gray gloom in his eyes -- which I had made the mistake of seeing without his permission -- told me that he was just being kind.

Despite my beloved Kisara's efforts to lull me, I didn't sleep a wink that night. I couldn't erase from my mind the look of pure frozen shock that I had seen on the Pharaoh's face. I shouldn't have seen it, shouldn't have glanced at my Lord when the disturbing silence persisted. I should have had more patience, and waited when the Pharaoh was ready to respond.

I have made many mistakes that day. As I have in the past few weeks. Isis had said that I would have to wait a little longer before I regain perfection. I feel that the Pharaoh wouldn't approve of this, given his humanitarian nature, but still... I pray to the Gods that I regain perfection soon, so that the Pharaoh may regain his happiness.

**Chapter 11: Fragment**

"Forgive me, my Lord," Seth had said, alarm evident in his voice, as he flinched and promptly turned away.

I then realized that I was so startled by his question that I was left staring dumbstruck at my High Priest. I turned my sight towards the flowing blue waters of the river to help me relax as I cleared the expression from my face. And the frantic beating from my chest.

Seth's question had tugged hard -- painfully -- at my heart. "Do you love Seto Kaiba?" he had asked. And I have no doubt about my answer to this. I am sure that I love Seto Kaiba; I had accepted this fact back when I was still on Earth. But it hurt, as always, to be reminded about my feelings for the man; worse, to be reminded not just in mere thought, but in spoken word. Why, I had even cursed the Gods once because of this, so it also made me wonder why am I not being punished in the afterlife's dungeons.

What had caused me to react that way, however, was the fact that Seth had asked. Definitely, he had surmised -- perhaps, even known -- that I have feelings for Kaiba. But... how?

My pondering was broken when, suddenly, Seth bowed in full submission, almost kissing the ground. "Forgive me, my Lord... Forgive me, my Lord... Forgive me... Forgive me... " I heard him mumble over and over. I was startled, but I couldn't help but be somehow amused (and touched) by his actions. My High Priest was still loyal and servile to me and to the traditions of Ancient Egypt, as I had always remembered him to be.

_Gods, why didn't you just let me love him instead of Seto Kaiba? It would've been much easier..._

I gently placed a hand upon Seth's shoulder and managed a smile. "Do not be bothered," I softly told him. "You are not at fault."

"But I have hurt you, my Pharaoh..." he uttered, still bowed fully to the ground.

"You haven't," I said, trying to sound as reassuring as I could. "I trust you. I know you have only good intentions for me, Seth. I am right, aren't I?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"So, sit up," I commanded, "and tell me: what were your intentions? What drove you to ask that question?"

Seth, who seemed shaken and drained, gradually sat up, his eyes avoiding me. I gazed at him in sympathy. If we had regarded each other as equals rather than lord-and-servant, then this wouldn't have happened. But Seth was my servant, and I was his lord; nothing could ever change that. I could command him to do anything I wish, even let me claim his body, and he would surely follow.

But I do not wish for another servant; I already have thousands at my beck and call. All I want is _that _one special person. All I want is Seto Kaiba.

And it wouldn't have been easier if I had loved Seth instead, I suddenly realized. Why, Seth loves Kisara, of course! And it would have been more difficult and more painful if I had loved him instead. Thank the Gods they didn't grant my prayer! I heaved a sigh, greatly relieved.

"My only wish is for my Lord to be happy," Seth said, breaking my musings once again. "And I wanted to be sure that I would be helping in the right way. So I had asked... but it had been unnecessary. I shouldn't have asked."

"Why not?" I asked, biting my lip to suppress my eagerness. "Could you have known the answer in some other way?"

"Yes, my Lord. There are many ways."

_Many ways? _I had wanted to ask more, but it seemed to me that Seth was so stressed out. He was breathing unevenly, his forehead and neck were dripping with sweat, and his eyebrows were crossing in tension. I could tell that he needed to rest. Furthermore, the sky was already starting to turn pink, a sign of impending dusk. So I stopped asking questions and, instead, motioned for him to stand up and guide me to where I would be spending the night. Seth followed my orders without a word.

We walked the streets of the villages, which were quieting down as the sun began to sink in the horizon. We kept walking, and greeting people along the way, until we arrived at a relatively large house in one of the villages. It was made of yellow brick -- possibly mud, same as the houses that my subjects once lived in three thousand years ago -- and at least five houses in size, with two floors. Compared to my Palace, it was tiny, but honestly, I don't mind; I should be comfortable here.

"This would be your new home, my Lord," Seth said, as he placed his hand on the door and gave it a slight push. The door opened wide, to reveal completely furnished interiors, in traditional design, much like in Ancient Egyptian homes. It was furnished with amenities similar to those which I had in my Palace, lacking only in precious metals and jewelry, which didn't bother me the least. The air was comfortably warm, even during the late afternoon, and at the top floor, where my bedroom was, I could easily see the sky turning orange.

I was met with an array of about eight servants, who all looked ready to answer my whims. I turned back to Seth and gave him a nod. My former High Priest bowed low, closed the door and left.

I slumped myself on the nearest soft chair and thought about what had happened during the day. I realized that after my conversation with Seth, even when some of my questions had been answered, I was left with even more questions. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep well if I don't find the answers to at least some of these.

When one of the house servants brought me a cool glass of water, I asked him if he knew where I could find any one of my other priests. The servant told me that in this part of the afterlife, it is Isis who is most involved with the people, as she serves as an oracle, ever present in the temple found in the heart of this afterlife world. The temple, I recalled, was where we had the lavish banquet this morning. I told the servant to accompany me there.

Upon reaching the entrance to the temple, I dismissed my servant and told him to go back to my house. The servant bowed low, then turned his back and left.

The temple was made of two large rooms. One was a banquet hall, the other was the main worship area. The main worship area was where I found Isis. She was seated sagaciously, in prayer, with her eyes closed, her legs crossed and her palms raised to the heavens. Before her was a small shallow pool of clear water, no deeper than my ankles and no wider than my height. I assumed that this must be where she saw her visions.

I quietly approached her. She calmly greeted me, without moving from where she was. I sat cross-legged directly across her and waited for her to say something.

"I could sense that your heart is troubled, Pharaoh," she spoke in her honey-like voice, "but you came here for a different reason."

"I did," I stated in reply. "I do not wish to speak of what really troubles my heart, for now. All I want is for my questions to be answered."

"You have been with Seth moments ago," she continued. "I see... He knows something about you which you didn't suspect he knew about."

"True. Go on."

"He would always know about it. For the past years, a fragment of his soul has been bound to the physical world. Just as some of us, your other priests, have fragments of our soul still bound to the world of the living. Thus, it was no coincidence that when you were revived, you were met with faces from three thousand years past -- although you didn't remember this then. You have met Shimon and Mahad, Shada and Seth and I. We have sent a part of ourselves in order to await your coming, which has long been prophesied."

"Then, you mean... Seto Kaiba is a fragment of Seth's soul that was sent to await my coming?"

"Yes, and what Seto Kaiba knows, Seth knows. That was how the High Priest had known about your feelings, for you have confessed to Seto Kaiba."

"But why isn't Seto Kaiba aware of Seth? At least, until he was brought to the world of my memories?"

"He is merely a fragment. He wouldn't know what occurs in the other parts of Seth's soul. He would only know of what he experiences as the fragment that he is, and nothing more."

_So Seto Kaiba is merely a fragment of Seth's soul... _This was getting more complicated. Anxiety was creeping deeper into my heart.

"Do not bother yourself with more troubles, my Lord," Isis said in reassurance. "The situation is easier than it seems, I assure you. The whole is not necessarily the part; neither the part necessarily the whole."

_The whole is not necessarily the part, neither the part necessarily the whole? _I get it! "So Seto Kaiba and Seth are not necessarily the same, am I right?" I had almost yelled.

Isis smiled. "Do calm yourself, my Lord. And yes, what you say is true. Fundamentally, Seto Kaiba and Seth are similar, as they are born of the same substance of soul. However, one is a fragment and the other is the whole, making them different from each other, as you have seen for yourself."

Isis was right. I have often compared the two men with each other, and found them different. Found that I felt differently for them as well.

But another concern was...

"Will they become a whole again someday?" I asked. _Would that be the destiny of Seto Kaiba? Would he be lost forever in Seth?_

"I am not certain, my Lord. Not everything is dictated by mere destiny. Destiny also depends on the choices that we make. When the time comes, Seto Kaiba may just have to decide for himself."

_(to be continued)_


	12. The Year After

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

My attention turned to the pool of water in front of me. I gazed at it, hoping to catch a glimpse of some vision, but saw nothing but my and Isis' reflections.

"Would you like to see him, my Lord?" Isis suddenly asked, breaking me from my musing.

_Of course I would love to see him_, I had wanted to say. But I was hesitant. What if I saw something that I didn't want to see?

Then again, I would _really_ love to see him. I couldn't resist, and nodded. Isis chanted a few words, then caressed the water with her hand. The water sparkled, then glowed brightly, and I felt my consciousness blissfully slip away.

**Chapter 12: The Year After**

"Happy birthday, Oni--sama!" Mokuba's shrill voice resounded in my ear. I felt my sleeping muscles twitch at the sound; apparently, I had not yet fully woken up, so it felt as if I was suddenly thrown into cool waters when my younger brother hurled himself, without warning, onto the bed where I had been sleeping.

_What a great way to start the day_, I mumbled sarcastically to myself, as I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Then, Mokuba's words finally registered in my mind. _Oh yes, it's my birthday. I had almost forgotten._

Ironically, some things that I wish to forget never seem to be thrown from my mind. It has been nearly a year since _that_ incident with Yami Yugi -- an incident which I have been remembering at least once each day and reliving at least once each evening. I have been through traumatic events since my childhood -- from the moment of my parents' deaths, to the years I spent living under Gozaburo's "care," to the many times that my brother was abducted -- but, strangely, none has bothered me as much as the time Yami Yugi has decided to move on to the afterlife.

If the afterlife does exist and Yami Yugi has gone there, then, technically, he is dead. And I have no business with dead people.

Unfortunately, he continues to influence my life even from the grave. And I have yet to find a way how to stop him.

_Influence my life? Stop him? Great, I'm thinking as if he's still alive. _

I was jolted from my thoughts when Mokuba grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me playfully. Mercilessly. "Nisama, Nisama! Hurry up and get dressed, or we're gonna be late!" He then jumped from the bed and, after one last grin at me, loudly and happily ran out my door.

I couldn't help but smile. Among others, I only manage a smile -- more like a wicked smirk -- moments before I deliver the final blow, much like the way a predator grins at its prey before brutally tearing it to pieces. But Mokuba, somehow, has the power affect me in such a tender manner: make me smile carelessly and honestly. I guess that's why I had sacrificed so much for the boy; the so-called "bond of blood" is truly inexplicable sometimes.

My eyes had watched my brother, as he ran out the door, seemingly without any care in the world. Apparently, he has recovered from everything that has happened in his life, like he always did, even after a terrible abduction or soul banishment. Sometimes, it makes me wonder who between the two of us was stronger.

As for me, the year had been personally difficult, as I tried to put my past behind me, using my businesses to keep my mind off things. From morning to midnight, I buried myself in work, with only a maximum of four hours of sleep a night... and oftentimes, sleep does not come easily and peacefully. Alcohol was my only solution. I had a bar (hidden from sight lest Mokuba learn about it) installed in my room, and every night, when I was sure that Mokuba was asleep, I would seek the solace of hard liquor until I become intoxicated enough to go to sleep.

I was careful enough not to let even the nosiest paparazzi find out about my vice, which never came in the way of my businesses, fortunately. In fact, as I continued to lose myself in my work, Kaiba Corporation continued to grow. Kaibaland went on to flourish; now, there are three of it in the world -- in America, in Japan and in Italy -- and has been listed in newspapers and magazines as the number one amusement park in the world.

Furthermore, the duel disk system and Duel Monsters hologram was constantly improved, with a lighter and sleeker design, more realistic faster-loading graphics and more modes of game play. Kaiba Corporation has hosted two major tournaments since; the quest for the new King of Duelists, after Yugi Mutou (the public does not know of Yami Yugi's existence) has made an announcement on television to retire from dueling, persisted. Apparently, no one was consistently good enough to maintain the title for more than two weeks.

If I had tried to become the King of Duelists, I would have the title right now and kept it for years to come. However, unlike before, I hadn't been too eager to compete in tournaments and take part in duels; I have lost all motivation to become the best. I was always the host, never a participant, and I never did demonstrative duels, despite my advertisers' repeated advice that the public is begging to see me duel. Fortunately, it didn't do anything to weaken Kaiba Corporation; I just told the public that I, like Yugi Mutou, was retiring from dueling and focusing on developing the Duel Monsters technology.

In fact, it has been almost year since I last held a deck of Duel Monsters cards, and it had taken repeated pleadings from my brother to play that last game with him. It was just a few days after Yami Yugi's departure, and my brother must have noticed that I haven't been eating, for he told me time and again that I would become sick if I went on like this. Not that I minded; I had lost much of my will to live. If not for my brother, I would have put a bullet through my head a long time ago. Seriously. Screw Kaiba Corporation; I wouldn't have cared if they fucked with it afterwards.

When my brother managed to coax me into that duel -- which, he said, should make me feel better -- I told him that regardless of the result of this duel, I wouldn't play again. This was to be my last duel. It took me just two turns to turn my brother's life points into mush. Furthermore, I found that he was wrong; the duel didn't make me feel better, it only made things worse by making me remember...

_Damn you, Yami Yugi... Get the fuck out of my mind!_

It has been almost a year. Today was my birthday. Hardly a happy one, I expect. My brother, again, made me promise him that I wouldn't go to work today. We would go to a movie, then to a restaurant, then play arcade games, then rounds of tennis until he becomes too exhausted to stand and starts to fall asleep. And I would be there, damned awake as ever, trying in vain to slip myself into wonderful oblivion.

_(to be continued)_


	13. The Challenge

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

When I had regained my consciousness, I found myself standing in what I could easily tell to be Kaiba's bedroom. The room was huge -- at least six times as big as the high school classroom where Yugi took his lessons -- with a four-poster bed wide enough to accommodate Yugi and all his friends, and plenty of space to spare. Though its huge size implied grandeur, I couldn't help but observe that it only emphasized how empty this room really was.

There were a few furnishings. On the walls were various certificates, the familiar "KC" logo appearing every once in a while, and a large oil painting of Kaiba's most powerful monster, the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, just across his bed -- perhaps, so he would be able to gaze at it before falling asleep. Furthermore, on an end table near the bed was a small framed picture of the much younger Kaiba brothers; I assumed Seto Kaiba to be ten years old when the picture was taken.

It was late evening, and dark; thankfully, I could see my surroundings despite the darkness. There was no one in the room, so Kaiba must have gone somewhere. _Would he be back tonight? What if he was out of the country?_

"I assure you, my Lord," came a calm honey-like voice from behind me, "we are in the right place. Please be patient; Seto Kaiba will be arriving soon."

I turned towards the voice. _Oh yes, Isis was with me; I had almost forgotten. _So Seto Kaiba would be arriving... That was pleasant to know. My eyes continued to tour the room as I waited. I then noticed a calendar, and the day was... October 25? Strange; I thought I had left the physical world sometime in November. And it was unlikely for Seto Kaiba, being the meticulous perfectionist that he is, to have a wrong date on his calendar. _So it is really October 25? But I have been away for almost only a day!_

"The time in this world and the time in the afterlife are different, my Lord," Isis remarked. "In the afterlife, the time span from when the sun rises to when it sets would have meant nearly a year passing in this world, while the time span from when the sun sets to when it rises again would have meant a whole day in this world. Therefore, for each day in the afterlife, about a year would have passed in this world."

"So I see," I mumbled in reply, trying to fully absorb what Isis had said.

"Furthermore," as she continued, "residents in the afterlife are oriented with time in the afterlife. Only those, such as I, who are often fully in contact with the physical world would be more oriented with time in this world. Which was why I had told you before that we have been preparing a feast for three thousand years, whereas it has been only over eight years for almost everyone else in the afterlife. And except for the prisoners in the dungeons, time doesn't have any bearing to those in the afterlife. Boredom doesn't exist. Pain doesn't exist. Except for those who are imperfect."

"Imperfect?"

"Those who have fragments still bound to this world."

"Like Seth?"

"Like Seth, yes, and a number of us, your priests. And you, as well, for part of your spirit is with your vessel. And with your beloved."

I was still contemplating Isis' words when light suddenly filled the room. I turned to the door. My eyes were promptly fixed upon a tall brown-haired young man, and my heart skipped a beat. _Seto Kaiba._

Gods, he was still beautiful, almost like when I had last seen him, except about an inch taller now. But... he seemed to have slimmed down, and the once proud stance that he had often held was replaced by shoulders that threatened to droop. Those who hadn't known him well wouldn't have thought that something was wrong with him, for he now looked ordinary, like everyone else. Except Kaiba wasn't like everyone else. He had always held himself proudly above others, almost like a god. Now, he seemed human, mortal and vulnerable. I knew then, as he walked slowly and nearer -- his steps short and solemn, unlike the strong long strides that he was known to make -- that something was terribly wrong with him.

"Kaiba..." I murmured concernedly, as my hand reached to touch him.

It simply passed through, as if I didn't exist. I gasped, then suddenly realized I didn't have a body anymore. Kaiba didn't seem to notice. He walked through me; evidently, he wasn't aware of my presence. I simply went on with following him.

He settled on a chair in one corner and pressed something on the wall near him. A hidden door opened, revealing a large wooden shelf-and-table full of bottles of liquid. The labels read: Cognac. Brandy. Tequila. And many others that I couldn't remember. He took a huge bottle and poured himself a glass. The powerful scent reached my nose; unmistakably, it was strong liquor. He gulped the contents of the glass and, before I could react, poured himself another glass and promptly swallowed its contents. I could only watch in horror as he carelessly downed the liquor one glass after another.

"Stop this, Kaiba!" I demanded firmly, and tried to grab the bottle from him. But, again, my hand just passed through. For a moment there, I had forgotten: I was a spirit, and as a spirit, I didn't have the power to hold, nor to touch, nor to be seen or heard. As a spirit, I could only watch what occurs, unable to do anything about it, unable to help...

"Damn you... Yami... Yu... gi..." I heard him mumble, before he finally passed out on the table, spilling the contents of the glass in his hand. A realization suddenly hit me, tearing my heart to pieces.

Nothing is more painful than having to witness your beloved destroy himself because of you.

**Chapter 13: The Challenge**

Another day has finally ended. After four rounds of tennis in the mansion court, my brother was already tired; he doesn't have the same endurance that I have, apparently. When we both took a seat, he placed his head on my lap and immediately fell asleep. I gently stroked his hair and smiled, glad that he found comfort in my presence, and took the responsibility of carrying him to his room and tucking him in bed.

As promised, I didn't go to work that day, even if it was only nine in the evening and I was severely tempted to walk into my home office to do some paperwork. I spent an hour on the sofa in the living room, clueless about how I should spend the evening. Afterwards, I realized that I had forgotten to turn on the lights and that I had been sitting in the dark for a long time. Not that being in the dark bothered me, but I wouldn't want to be stumbling around in my own house. I reached for a nearby lamp and turned it on.

The first sight that caught my eyes was a sculpture. A marble figurine of Obelisk the Tormentor, which I had commissioned an artist to carve for me, days after the Battle City tournament.

_Obelisk the Tormentor... Battle City..._ _memories... Yami Yugi! _I grasped my head with my hands and tried to pry the memories away. Memories of when we walked the roads of Battle City side by side. Memories of when we fought together atop a skyscraper, fighting for our lives. Memories of when we dueled against each other, power against power, god against god... Memories that would never happen again in the future.

For a moment, I was so angry that I wanted to take the figurine and hurl it to the wall and smash it into pieces, never mind how many thousands of dollars I had paid the artist for it, but... something had stopped me. Instead, I just grabbed a cushion and slammed it on the floor, then trudged my way upstairs to my bedroom. Unfortunately, unlike with my brother, sleep didn't seem to be coming to me; I hadn't even yawned the entire evening, I noticed. It seems like tonight, just like in the past nights, I would be spending time in my precious bar.

After a number of glasses of tequila (I haven't bothered to count), I felt my consciousness slip away rapidly. _Shit, I must have had too much_, I realized, for I was too intoxicated to stand up, let alone bring myself to bed where I could sleep without my brother noticing anything wrong the next morning. But the alcohol had really kicked hard tonight; aside from how much I had drunk was how little I had eaten, for I haven't ingested anything solid since noon, and I had only pretended to eat supper, for my brother's sake. I made a mental note to force myself awake once the alcohol had loosened its hold on me, so that it would appear I had been sleeping on my bed the entire evening. And then I succumbed to unconsciousness.

"Kaiba... Kaiba..." Something seemed to pull down my guts as I heard a familiar voice call my name. _Oh no, it looks like I would be reliving his painful departure again, tonight. _I braced myself for the replay of events. Nothing happened; all I could see was pitch black.

"Who's there?" I abruptly turned to look for the source of the voice. I didn't see anyone, didn't receive any reply. My uneasiness quickly turned to anger.

"Is that you _again_, Yami Yugi?" I demanded furiously. "Stop bothering me in my dreams, God damn it! Get the hell outta my mind and leave me be with my life!"

"I am here, Kaiba," came the voice, more tenderly now. My heart stopped for a moment. It was the proud voice that I had been wanting to throw from my memory. But it was also the same proud voice that I had been yearning to hear once again, all this time... I cringed in annoyance at the thought.

"Yami Yugi..." I uttered absentmindedly. I was now facing him. He looked the same. He _is _the same. His crimson eyes carried the same determination and bravery that I had always seen when he was fiercely in duel. The same eyes that I stared at when I was fighting to earn the most challenging victories against him. The same eyes that had challenged everything within me -- my pride, my fear, my lust for power and victory... perhaps even a bit of concern that drove me to save him and his useless friends a number of times. For he was my one true rival. My only obsession.

While Mokuba has been my cause to survive, Yami Yugi had been my will to live. And now, when I had long thought him gone as only a vexing spark in my brain, I was suddenly facing him. Again. In a dream, perhaps, but it was a different circumstance. _Interesting..._ I yearned to learn more.

"Stop it with your nonsense, Kaiba," Yami Yugi remarked authoritatively, like he were my master. My teeth gritted at his tone.

"You have no fucking right to tell me what to do, Yami Yugi," I snarled. "I am not your slave, and you are not my Pharaoh."

Strangely, he smiled. I couldn't put a finger on what his smile meant. Was it an insult? A sign of amusement? Or a driving force to make my blood boil and challenge him to a fight?

"Good to have you back, Kaiba," he smarted. "I thought I had lost you moments ago."

"What the friggin' hell gave you that idea? I was never yours," I firmly said in reply.

He chuckled darkly. "Yeah... right," a sarcastic tone, I could tell. I resisted the urge to punch his lights out.

When I didn't respond, he continued, "You said you were never mine, Kaiba. So prove it. Prove that I do not hold your life in my hands." His voice had a hint of mocking that was definitely hard to miss. His eyes were trained on mine, unwavering and serious. Eerily still and stern, yet strangely inviting. I felt the thrill of battle run down my spine.

"Is that a challenge?" I yelled, lashing at the air with my arm.

"It is," he calmly replied.

My answer was immediate. "Then I take it!"

"You didn't even think twice," he said with a smirk. "What if you couldn't do it?"

"I never back down from a challenge. Nothing is impossible."

"That's good to hear." He then turned his back and started to walk away. I felt -- decided I had to stop him.

"Yami Yugi..."

He stopped, but didn't turn around. "What is it, Kaiba?"

_What is it, Kaiba? _I quickly groped my mind for an answer. "Why do you even bother?" I managed to say, almost immediately.

"Because--"

"And don't give me an 'I love you, Seto' and an 'I just know,' you son of a bitch," I blurted out, as I felt the anger rising in my throat at the memory. "Stop fucking around with me, and give me some goddamned good answers!"

I heard him chuckle. "Alright," he finally said, after some silence, "I will tell you. And you might as well take my word for it."

"Like I have any other choice," I smirked, as I crossed my arms. "But you better make sure that I would really believe you. Prove to me that what you said a year ago was true."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You bet."

"Then I take it!" he replied, almost echoing the tone that I had used a while back.

My eyes soon met his in a long and daring stare.

_(to be continued)_


	14. Surrender

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

Panic was racing through my entire being. I had stood frozen and watched helplessly as Seto Kaiba fell limply on the table, the victim of his actions. But I was only a spirit, and didn't have the power to help him... I was totally at a loss over the problem that confronted me.

_There is always a solution; I just have to believe. _I forced these words into my mind, as I tried to calm down and think of something. And then, something struck me.

"Isis!" I abruptly turned to the woman spirit who was silently standing behind me. "Tell me, Priestess, is it possible for a spirit to enter the realm of a living person's dreams?" She calmly nodded in response.

"Then tell me how..." And I finally managed a smile, as my fears were gradually soothed in her explanation.

**Chapter 14: Surrender**

Even in my dreams, it was evident that I was way too drunk. I had said things I shouldn't have said, and thought of things that shouldn't have crossed my mind.

Worse, I did things I wouldn't have done if I were sober. _But it was all just a dream... wasn't it? _

Then I dreamt of something I shouldn't have dreamt about.

Yami Yugi had confronted me tonight. Like he had been doing every night, during the year since his departure. Every night, the moment I closed my eyes, I would see that scene replay before me -- Yami Yugi leaving, Yami Yugi saying all that crap that he had said. It was always like that. But, at least, even under the influence of alcohol, I could dictate how I acted in the dream. I was always in as much control in my sleep as I am when awake. I was never the weakling who fell on his butt and cried like a child; instead, I was Seto Kaiba. I was myself.

But tonight... Tonight was different.

For one, I had answered to the challenge immediately, while with just a vague understanding of what it really meant. It seems that, drunk or sober, I could never resist a challenge posted by my rival. However, while I consider myself a risktaker, I am smart enough to ensure that the odds are in my favor -- perhaps not always greatly, but at least I should hold some edge over my opponent. Back when I was still dueling, for instance, I had _always _packed my deck with the most powerful cards so that I was _always_ at an advantage.

Furthermore, I wouldn't go rushing foolishly into the enemy's trap; I know well enough to calculate my moves, foresee possible results and prepare alternative plans. Of course, I would never have turned down his challenge, regardless of the circumstance; I only turn down dares when they weren't worth my time, and never on the basis of difficulty. In fact, the greater the difficulty, the more thrilling the game; which was why I was always eager to face Yami Yugi in the battlefield, always ready to accept whatever challenges he threw at me. However, if I had been sober, I would have asked first what he had really meant by his words, and then quickly determined the best plan of action before giving him my nod. This way, I would have held an advantage over him even before the challenge started.

Of course, soon afterwards, I realized what he had really meant. And meeting the challenge wasn't gonna be easy.

Secondly, I had posted my rival a task, one that was similarly difficult. And equally risky for both of us. No, actually, it was riskier for me. Sure, there was the risk of his humiliation if he fails to do it; but if he does win, then that would mean that I have failed not only to subdue my opponent in the challenge that I had posted, but also to win in that he had given me.

For him to prove himself, he would have to prove that he holds my life in his hands. The thought of it made me tremble.

My challenge to him had been my response. And in doing so, I had, in part, failed in the challenge that was given to me. For why should I be bothered with year-old phrases that should have been long forgotten?

Tequila certainly has a way of addling the mind.

"Well?" I uttered, crossing my arms as I regarded Yami Yugi, who was now facing me. "What are you waiting for? Or are you suddenly struck clueless?"

Yami Yugi carefully shook his head. "Didn't I tell you before, Kaiba? I think you are a wonderful person."

I hissed in annoyance. "Is that all? Well, you certainly have to do better than that, or you lose!"

"Why won't you believe me?" He was starting to sound frustrated, something that I rarely heard.

Mockingly, I retorted, "Isn't that supposed to be _your_ problem?" I cocked an eyebrow at him. _Looks like I was worried for nothing._

Yami Yugi sighed, and his voice sounded more serene. "Do you still remember, Kaiba, the day when we first dueled? When you kidnapped Yugi's grandfather, gave him a heart attack and tore his Blue Eyes White Dragon?"

I couldn't help but laugh at what he had said. "What? So that's your answer? You came to like me because of what I did to that senile old fool?"

"I'm not yet done, Kaiba."

"Yami Yugi, this is pointless."

"You were the one who posted the challenge, Kaiba!"

"Well, I guess I just have to say you lost. You're not giving me any satisfactory answers, so we might as well stop this. You're wasting my time." I started to turn away.

Yami Yugi suddenly grabbed both of my arms, forcing me to keep still, and looked straight into my eyes. I gritted my teeth in anger; I hate being restricted like this. Yet I didn't put up a fight, despite how much stronger I know I am over him; I must have been too tired to even struggle (though struggling wasn't something I would ever do), let alone fight back. So, I decided that the best option was to wait for his answer, determine whether it qualifies or not, and then tell him to leave. Kick him out hard if I had to. Hopefully, after this, he would never haunt my dreams again.

"Alright," I told him, as I glared back. "I'll listen. But better make it good."

Yami Yugi kept his hold on me. "I gave you a mind crush, didn't I?"

"And you're gonna give me another one right now?"

He didn't seem to hear what I had said. "I had the option of killing you right there and then. You were consumed by evil, an evil which was destroyed when I shattered your heart. However, deep within you is a darkness that could never be quelled, not even by my own power. Thus, the only way I could prevent you from falling to wickedness again was to take your life."

I chuckled darkly. "Well, why didn't you? Big mistake, don't you think?"

Yami Yugi, as usual, had a long patience. I could tell, by the mark of calm concentration on his face, that he was carefully choosing his words and restraining his temper. It seemed he was intent on winning this challenge. _Good, except I'm not gonna lose to you._ "But I had seen your heart, Kaiba, and I saw who you really are," he continued, "saw a man who, more than anything else, deserves to live. You have kept your true self prisoner for the sake of your brother, endured all pain and hatred, and kept the facade of a cold unloving being so that he may be kept safe and happy. Very few people would sacrifice that much even for their own flesh and blood. But you did it, kept that darkness in your heart, at the risk of losing your own soul, in order to be tough enough to protect your brother."

I had glanced away without thinking, and then remembered myself and looked back at Yami Yugi. _Damn, no way am I losing to you._ "So what? I was just doing my duty. I am a man of my word." I caught a glimpse of the time when our true parents passed away. Back then, I had made the unspoken lifetime promise.

Yami Yugi smiled. "Which makes me admire you all the more." _Shit._

When I didn't respond, he continued. "You have made the promise to protect Mokuba at all costs. And so far, you've kept it. Your ferocity in keeping this promise is unmatched; you never hesitated to put your own self on the brink of death for your brother."

"You don't have to remind me. Are you slapping my face with the fact that I had cheated? That I could never win over you in a fair battle?" I spat, barely stopping to breathe. "Is that why you're here, Yami Yugi? To make this fact sink in even deeper? Well, don't bother; it's an unnecessary effort on your part."

He smiled at me, his eyes quickly losing its fierceness. There was now a softness in his face; it was almost stoic. I was uncertain whether he was about to give up... or did he have an inkling that victory was his again?

"No, Seto," he muttered softly, gazing at me with his gentlest eyes. "I am here just to remind you that you know how to love. And deserve to be loved."

I was taken aback by his statement; not having anything to retaliate with, given all that he had said, I was momentarily frozen. And before I could react, Yami Yugi had mildly cupped my face in his hands and brought his lips to mine.

The kiss was soft and gentle, and pleasantly moist. My breath caught in my throat, my heart pounded rapidly in my chest. It was a curious feeling, this kiss; it wasn't like anything I've ever experienced before. It was... inexplicable; no words could ever accurately describe it.

Despite being free from Yami Yugi's grasp, my arms had remained still on my side, not moving to push the other man away. Instead, I responded to the kiss, pressing my lips closer to his as I sought more of him. My mouth opened on its own and let him put his tongue through, let him explore my teeth and my palate. I gasped when I felt him lightly suck at my tongue, as if inviting to explore him as well. I gave my reply with some uncertainty, slowly pushing my tongue past his lips to taste his mouth. He moaned softly, encouraging me to go further. I now ventured him with no hesitation, wildly and eagerly moving my tongue around, as if playing with swords, flicking at various areas of Yami Yugi's mouth and getting more excited at each new discovery.

I had known enthusiasm only during the times when I battled against this man in the duel arena. Now, a new kind of thrill was coursing through my body -- equally intense, yet definitely more pleasurable. And it was with the same man. With my one true rival. I guess I know excitement only with Yami Yugi; it could never be with anyone else.

Thus, during the past year, I had lost my will to live. Because I had lost him. And now, he was back. He reminded me that I deserve to live, and to be loved. And assured me that his words were true, made me believe that they were true. For now, I just had to trust him.

This was not the first time I had given in to weakness because of him. Once again, victory was his. It seems I could never win over him. So I vowed never to let him go, never to once again lose the only person who has ever brought challenge to my life.

Even if this were only a dream. A tequila-induced drunken dream. A moment of ethanol-driven insanity.

I held him more tightly now, as if my life depended on it. My hands had gone from my side to his back to his nape to his head, pressing him closer and deepening the kiss. We were both gasping when we pulled away; I saw that his face was flushed and sweaty, as if he had been running. I gazed into his half-closed crimson eyes, which were glazing with passion and desire, and knew that I wanted more. And to give more. I lunged my lips upon his again, now more roughly, more surely, eliciting long muffled moans from him and driving excitement further through my body. With my knees weakening each passionate second, I fell atop him; he was now beneath me, for the first time in my life.

I longed to explore him more. From his lips, I traveled downward, traced his jawline unevenly with my kisses as my hand gently caressed his cheek. When my tongue brushed over his ear, he gasped. I continued to explore his earlobe.

Bit by bit, I undressed him, yet untiringly rained his skin with my touch and my kisses. I traced his face and his body with my lips, my tongue and my fingertips. I knew well enough to arouse his most sensitive spots; I lingered longest on the pulse points on his neck and his wrists, on his nipples and on his navel. Each time, his breath came out strong and sporadic, and every now and then, he moaned my name.

"Seto... oh Seto... no..." His voice was raspy, weak and begging, like of a fallen warrior invoking to be spared of further torment, as he grasped firmly at my back, his nails digging sharply through the cloth of my shirt.

I heard him groan in protest when I stopped. For now, he was impatient, and so was I. Quickly, I took off every article of clothing that were still on me and on him, and soon we were both completely naked. I paused to gaze at his entire naked form; his face was broken in wanting, his body clearly pleased with my ministrations. _Damn, he is so beautiful. How could I have noticed only now?_

"Seto... please..." He was begging again.

I grabbed his thighs and spread him. And then claimed him. He cried out incoherently, and fresh tears escaped his eyes. I gently kissed away the drops that lingered on his face. I brought my lips close to his ear and encircled it with my tongue, and hushed him with a whisper of his name.

"Yami Yugi... Atem..."

"Seto..." His voice, though soft, was firm and reassuring. I felt him gently caress my bare back with his hand.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, and I held onto his shoulders, not wanting to let go. Soon, we were both moaning, gasping and crying out each other's names, until we both reached our ecstasies at the same time. Spent yet sated, I settled silently on top of him, with my ear on his chest as I listened to the beating of his heart.

"I love you... Seto..." I heard him murmur in my ear.

I looked at him and planted a soft kiss on his lips in response. He smiled tenderly and patted my shoulder reassuringly. I then lay myself, in his arms, and drifted off to sleep -- the most blissful one I've ever had in my life.

_(to be continued)_


	15. The Book of Life

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

"Let the living bury their dead." And, honestly, I couldn't agree more. The dead certainly has no place among the living, save in the realm of memories; the only consolation that a person may have once he passes on is that the people who love him would remember him and, hopefully, never forget.

The dead are excluded from the living for a reason: so that the living may go on living. This was one of my principles as the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle; it was my driving force to fulfill my mission of collecting my memories, so that I may finally leave the world of the living in peace. From the start, I have known that I had been deceased, only bound to this world for a reason. As time passed by, I came to believe that the reason was to meet the people I've met, save who needs to be saved and love who needs to be loved.

After everything I've gone through, I inferred that this was, indeed, the true reason. It was Seto Kaiba. My beloved.

But I am dead, and he is alive, with a future ahead of him. I can't take that future away from him; it would be unfair. So my only choice was to let go, to say goodbye. It is the right thing to do. At least, thanks to Isis, I was able to assure him that I love him. Not everyone gets that chance from beyond the grave. I must be very fortunate.

In his dream, we remained together for some time, just lying in each other's arms, saying nothing yet seemingly sharing everything. Finally, I spoke:

"I have to go now, love."

Seto suddenly sat up from where he was lying. He gazed at me with his deep blue eyes, and then finally gave me a quick nod. Since I have known Seto as a man who never says words of affection, who prefers to talk with his actions, his reply was more than enough. I knew he understood.

After kissing him for one last time, I closed my eyes and felt my form drift away. In a moment, I was back in Seto's bedroom, looking down at the unconscious form of my beloved.

**Chapter 15: The Book of Life**

Isis guided me back to the afterlife. When I recovered, I found myself back in the worship hall of the temple. It was already evening when we returned. Promptly, I stood up, gave Isis a word of thanks, and headed back to my residence to rest.

As I lay on my bed, I recalled the things that have transpired while I was in Seto's dream. How I took his lips in a kiss. Gods, until now, I couldn't be sure what had pushed me to do that; after all, I was well aware of the risk that Seto may just shun me and hate me more. But I was grateful when he responded, when he deepened the kiss and pulled me to him, as if he had been thirsting for it all this time. I traced my finger over my lips; I knew they were no longer mine alone.

I had let him lay above me. Look down on me, but with eyes full of hunger and longing. I had let him encounter me in my most vulnerable state, where all I could do was depend on him and beg for his touch, as if I would cease to exist if he didn't take me. I had given him the freedom to do to my body as he wished, let him touch me, caress me, arouse me in whatever way he could imagine. He seemed to know my body more than I do.

And then, when I knew I couldn't take it any longer, I called for him and he took me. Claimed me as his own. At first, it had been rough, but Seto was surprisingly tender. He made me feel the pleasure beneath the pain. And then, I came to know ultimate bliss. With him, through him.

It was strange that everything had started out as a challenge. Seto did post the challenge to make him believe that I really love him. And I had done it. Made him surrender his pride and give in to desire, in the process. But then, I had also surrendered myself to him, let myself come beneath him, let him claim me as his own.

What had happened in the realm of Seto Kaiba's dream will forever be in my memory.

I noticed the streams of light through the window. _Why, the sun has already risen. Had I been awake this long? Heavens, I haven't slept a wink yet! _But I was still alert, so I just jumped from bed and headed down for breakfast.

A familiar brown-haired young man was at my table. It was Mahad, my Dark Magician! But what was he doing here?

"The Priest Shada has told me that you need me, Pharaoh," he answered at my inquiry.

_Ah, Shada could read people's hearts_, I remembered. _While Mahad was an expert on Ancient Egyptian text, so probably, his expertise on books extends to the afterlife. Well, we shall see..._

"Isis has told me about the fragments of souls," I told him, as I took a seat beside him. "Tell me what you know about this matter."

He nodded respectfully. "Not all free souls in the afterlife are perfect, my Lord. Some still have fragments bound to the physical world."

"Isis has told me about that also. Continue."

"These fragments -- which were born into the physical world as human beings -- became known as reincarnations. When a person is reincarnated into another, the memories of his past life are deeply hidden in the unconscious, so the reincarnation is able to live a new life, acquire new memories and even a new personality."

"And while the reincarnation is alive, the soul from which he came from would be imperfect?"

"Yes. While the reincarnation walks the earth, the soul in the afterlife would experience some suffering. It is only when the reincarnation has come into the afterlife that both souls would truly be at peace."

_Is that so? Well, why do I feel some suffering myself? _"Mahad, as far as I know, I don't have a reincarnation. Yet I believe I am imperfect."

"Fragments need not be just reincarnations, my Lord. If someone in the physical world has refused to fully accept another person's passing, then the soul would not be truly at peace."

_So someone in the physical world has refused to fully accept my passing?_ And then, I remembered Isis' words: _For part of your spirit is with your vessel. And with your beloved. _I now realized that Yugi and Seto have not yet truly accepted that I was gone.

Yugi... I haven't seen how he was doing. After this day is over, two years would have passed in the physical world from the time of our duel. Yet he had been my aibou, and I knew him well; emotionally, he is stronger than he seems, even offering to share in the pain that I had endured for three thousand years. I trusted that he would be able to recover without my help.

As for Seto... I was still unsure. Despite the cold facade that he had often sported, Seto was very fragile inside. I had seen him drown himself with alcohol because of me. When I came into the realm of his dreams, I decided to post him a challenge, for I knew that it was only through a challenge that he would comply. I had told him to prove that I do not hold his life in my hands, that he was truly the master of his own destiny.

_Destiny... _"What do the writings say about a person's destiny?" I asked.

"Each person's destiny has long been written by the Gods," replied Mahad. "For example, it has been written that Seth -- or rather, his reincarnation -- and you would meet and battle."

_Seth's reincarnation. Seto Kaiba._ He has always said that there is no such thing as a predetermined future; rather, that the future is determined by the present choices of men. Partly, I have come to believe him. But could he have been wrong all along?

"What is written about the future of Seth's reincarnation?" I inquired, trying to keep my expression neutral.

Mahad waved his hand. Before us appeared a thick book bound in gold and bronze. The book opened, and my priest's eyes skimmed through its text. "He is destined to be powerful and influential," he finally said, "more than he is now. And he would live long, and very successful in earthly terms. Yet he is destined for unhappiness. No love, no purpose. Only emptiness and misery."

_(to be continued)_


	16. A Decade Hence

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

_No love, no purpose. Only emptiness and misery._ Gods, what a miserable life that must be! I've existed that way before, when I was still a spirit in the Millennium Puzzle, and I hated the experience. Some reward for being the savior of mankind.

Sometimes -- oftentimes, fate is just too unfair. The man who helped me save the world, risked his life and his pride in order to aid me in my battles, sacrificed his heart for his brother, and made me discover the beauty of love is bound to suffer what I have suffered. And he would suffer for as long as a lifetime. Is this the idea of the Gods of making someone share in the pain that they have brought upon me? Then I refuse their gift; I would rather suffer alone.

My hopes have been for Seto Kaiba to live long and live contentedly. That he would fall in love and have a happy family, something that has been denied from him since childhood. After all, he deserves nothing less than a blissful life.

If I were Seto Kaiba, I would have denied destiny and made my own choices. I pray that my beloved finds a way to change his fate.

**Chapter 16: A Decade Hence**

Ten years. Time passes by so quickly. It has been five years since I graduated from university, which was four years since my friends and I parted at high school graduation and went our ways to follow our dreams... which was one year after Atem, the Pharaoh, has left for the afterlife.

It has been ten years since I have been on my own.

I have long accepted that Atem -- the Pharaoh, the other me -- was gone. Of course, at first, it was hard and sorrowful, but I have friends. Friends who helped me recover and helped me stand on my own. Now, I see the world from my own perspective, survive in it with my own strength and my own will. But I would never forget Atem. He would always be the brother I thought I would never have. To me, he would always be Yami Yugi. The other me.

I will never forget him. He has taught me so much. And as I go on living, I hold on to the hope that someday, we would meet again, and that afterwards, it shall be for eternity. Just as he had promised on that fateful day.

My friends and I were reunited the evening after my graduation from university. They just appeared at my doorstep, without prior notice, and I was so pleasantly surprised that I forgot myself and jumped into their arms then and there. So much has changed since our carefree high school days. Even I have changed. I am nearly a foot taller now, and my voice has deepened. It seems my adolescence came in late... but then, better late than never.

Then, Honda and Shizuka have been dating for two years; it was during the graduation party that they announced they were getting married... much to Shizuka's brother's surprise. I couldn't forget how startled and pale he became at the announcement; it was so hilarious. Anyway, after he had recovered from his shock, he congratulated the happy couple. And time and again, he would leer and warn Honda that if he ever hurt Shizuka, Jounouchi would personally kill him. But I know Jou trusts Honda enough; otherwise, he wouldn't have allowed the two to date, nor consented to being the best man, right?

Speaking of him, Jounouchi was, as always, the most talkative in our group, but he acts more maturely now. Surprisingly, he graduated with a degree in mathematics -- his most hated subject, as far as I know -- and teaches in high school. As for him and Mai, they are more-or-less steady now, although they aren't constantly in each other's company since Mai is quite an adventurous woman. But last I've heard of him, Jou has joined Mai's motorcycle escapades. I don't know what happens to his teaching career because of that; Jou can be so crazy sometimes. Or often.

Anzu... She was a professional dancer in America. I've seen her perform on television a number of times, and God, she does grow more beautiful as the years pass by. I couldn't take my eyes off her (and felt so awkward) during my graduation party and, well... I decided to swallow my fear and break the ice. Before we knew it, we were passing the time swapping so many stories and talking a walk in the park and... well, to cut the long story short, we became a couple a year after that. I proposed to her after another year, and we've been happily married for two years now. She has decided to take a break from her dancing career and dedicate herself to a more domestic life, taking care of our son whom we've named Atem, in memory of the Pharaoh.

It's a beautiful life. And I wouldn't have had it if I hadn't solved the Millennium Puzzle.

Whenever I look at our son, I would remember Atem and think if he is enjoying the afterlife as much as I enjoy my life. Then, I would see Anzu, my love...

And remember that Atem doesn't have his beloved. It's unfortunate that during his brief stay in our world, he has fallen in love with Seto Kaiba. Maybe, just maybe -- and I hope -- that he has found someone else to love in the afterlife. I think he would be happier if he has someone to hold and to share happiness with, and not just pine about Kaiba.

Speaking of which, Kaiba Corporation is still leading the gaming and amusement industry, as it has been for the past decade. Seto Kaiba has kept on rising in the charts as one of the world's richest people. Currently, he is (still) the world's youngest self-made billionaire. Whenever I see him in the magazines, he is either smirking or scowling -- both equally intimidating -- and his dark blue eyes always gleamed with something mysteriously eerie, something I couldn't decipher. Could it be pride, or indignation, or bravado, or... melancholy?

So I can't shake the feeling that despite all his success, despite being one of the most envied people on earth, Kaiba is hiding some problems with himself. I would never trade my life for his.

Kaiba is still single and with no children. I guess paparazzi are disappointed with the fact that he doesn't have a love life, or that he never did misbehave. Time and again, tabloid headlines would say that Kaiba is hiding his beloved lady and children somewhere, but as always, Kaiba would embarrass the newsmakers with his reasoning and his gift of tongue. Until they just became tired of talking about his personal life. They, instead, featured more of Mokuba, who has married young at eighteen and now has a daughter at twenty-two.

Anyway, time and again, I would wonder if Kaiba was ever affected by Atem's passing. Though I couldn't conceive the idea of Kaiba becoming saddened by what had happened, I knew Kaiba valued Atem so much as his only rival. I guess that was why Kaiba retired from dueling after Atem had left. But I can't be sure. I guess I don't know Kaiba too well. Perhaps no one does, not even his own brother.

I had come into contact with Mokuba recently. He was doing market research for Kaiba Corporation when I bumped into him in a restaurant. I was glad he still remembered me. We talked a lot about how we were doing, especially with our families. We talked about our children. Mokuba's eyes lit with joy whenever he mentioned his wife or his daughter. I could tell he is happy.

And then, I slipped the question: "And how's your brother?"

He simply shrugged, as he looked down and absentmindedly twirled his chopsticks on the plate. "Well, what you've been seeing in the news... Yeah, that's basically how he is."

"Er... on a personal level, how is he? I'm just curious. After all, he had fought alongside us before." When Mokuba looked at me, I raised my hand, as if in oath. "Promise, confidential."

He just shrugged again. "Honestly, I don't know. I think that he's concerned with nothing but his work." He sighed. "I just wish he would go out sometimes, just for fun. But all he deals with are professional matters; he doesn't even make any effort to meet up with the ladies. Now that he's in his late twenties, I guess he should be thinking about settling down. But all he thinks about is work, work and work. Isn't it ironic that he is successful in bringing fun and happiness to children everywhere, yet he couldn't bring fun and happiness to his own life?" I nodded, fully agreeing with what he had said.

Mokuba continued, "He's been too absorbed in his work -- often at the risk of his own health -- and it worries me. But before, it was a lot easier; I manage to get him to go out and play and take a break. And monitor his meals and really care for him. Now, I have my own family, and I get to check on Nisama less and less. As far as I know, he still spends most of his hours in the office, and works at home, and sleeps a little." He kept on twirling his chopsticks, as if trying to bore a hole through the table. "He's always been a workaholic, but he's gotten worse ever since Yami Yugi left."

_Ever since Yami Yugi left?_ So Yami Yugi's passing has really affected Kaiba! I didn't know if I should feel excited, or sad, or anxious... but certainly, I was surprised. I never thought that anyone's passing would affect Kaiba so much; he really seemed so dense on the outside.

Though I had been more involved with Yami Yugi, I had easily recovered from his passing because I have friends who helped me. But Kaiba doesn't have any friends, and I doubt if his pride would allow him to hire a psychiatrist. _So is it possible that he has not yet fully accepted his rival's passing?_

Absentmindedly, I turned to look at the gleaming screen of the television set. It was flash news. A news reporter was live from somewhere in America. Behind her were a police car, an ambulance, and a bunch of frantic people. The camera then zoomed onto a gorgeous white car that had crashed onto a lamppost, the driver seat crushed beyond recognition.

"How terrible," I softly remarked. "Whoever has been driving that car... God, I hope that he's safe and... Mokuba?"

There was a crack of wood and a clatter on the floor. Mokuba's chopsticks had split in his hand, drawing out some blood, but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes had widened, apparently in shock, as he stared at the television screen, pale, incoherent and frozen.

"Mokuba?" I placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly.

After some dead silence, Mokuba managed to murmur three syllables I had never expected in this situation:

"Ni... sama..."

_(to be continued)_


	17. Intervention

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

Ten years.

I sit here, once again in the dark, alone -- as always -- tapping the crystal glass of brandy upon the cold varnished wood of the bar. And _it _passes my mind.

Ten years.

The reddish digits on my calendar that clearly state the truth.

Ten years.

From the day that we had parted, from the day that you have died, from the day that you have left my life without purpose, I've seen ten years, walked through ten years, endured and survived for ten years. Despised my existence for ten whole_ fucking _years... which should've been better, should've been blessed with your presence, your power...

And your life. Those were ten years that would never be.

_Ten years_, I sigh, as I slide my fingers along the icy smooth bottle of brandy.

Yami Yugi, it has been so long, hasn't it? And now, I face the realization, again, that a man never fully appreciates the value of something until he has lost it. Cliché, yet still ringing true. But whoever said that time heals all wounds ought to be damned for eternity. Liars go to hell.

_God damn it. _When you were there, Yami Yugi, I've been a fool, trying to distance myself away from the rest of the world, and from you, thinking that everything I had then was all that mattered. But now that you're gone, now that you're dead... all this success? All this money? They mean nothing to me! If I could buy you back, even with all my possessions, even with my own life, I would. I would...

Funny... Look at me now, trying to get myself drunk again, hoping to see you. Yet since that dream, that dream that had opened my eyes, I've never been haunted by the nightmares that I had damned, hated, tried to get out of my mind. Now, I long for them, for me to see you, even if just in my twisted fantasies... But I've been trying, to no avail.

_Hah, so Seto Kaiba always dumps the past, lives in the present and seeks the future? Then why is he here, wallowing in should-have-been's?_ I drawl bitterly. Ten years really do a great deal to a person, I thought, as I stare at the bottle of brandy, the golden intoxicating liquid that I have been drowning in for the past hour. The bottle was almost full when I had started. Now, it is nearly empty. I would be sleeping now; another fucking day awaits me the next morning.

Then the goddamned cell-phone suddenly rings. I answer.

"Seto Kaiba here."

"Sir, technical problems in the main computer. Sorry that we couldn't solve them. Is it possible if..."

"I'm on my way." I hang up._ Idiots. Why do I even bother to hire anyone? _I raise my hands in exasperation, and glance at my watch. It is now midnight. My chauffeur won't be on duty until four in the morning.

Looks like I'm doing the driving tonight.

**Chapter 17: Intervention**

"Seth, you fool! What have you done?"

"What would the Pharaoh say?"

"The Lord would surely be outraged!"

"This is sacrilege!"

"My son... Oh, my son, why?"

"Don't you understand? I have done this for our Pharaoh!"

I had been awakened this morning by a sharply painful, crushing and stabbing sensation on my head and my chest. Alarmed that something terrible had happened, I tried to ignore the overwhelming imminent-death-like feeling that coursed through my form, and immediately stood up and ran to the temple, expecting to find some disorder. However, I didn't anticipate what I saw: my six priests in commotion, all talking at once, seemingly bickering among each other.

No, they weren't bickering among each other, I realized. It was actually everyone against Seth, who had fallen on his knees, clutching his chest.

I swallowed the pain and mustered authority in my voice. "What goes on here?"

All priests -- except for Seth -- promptly turned to me and knelt reverently. Seth, on the other hand, was still slumped on his knees, his face crumpled in pain. Concerned, I rushed to him, but the pain through my own form kept me from moving two steps further and I fell to the floor. The other priests immediately ran to my aid. Thankfully, when Mahad placed his hand on my head, the pain swiftly drifted away.

"Are you alright, Pharaoh?" he asked.

"I am now, thank you." I then stood up and approached Seth. Unlike before, he didn't make a move to acknowledge my presence, and remained where he was, still tightly holding his chest. And as I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked at him, I noticed drops of black ink on his hands and on the floor. I wondered what had happened; I had wanted to ask the other priests, but decided that it would be better if Seth got to air his side first (since he seemed to be the one at fault here), before he becomes overwhelmed by what the others would say. So first... "Mahad!" I gestured for the sorcerer to come closer.

Mahad ran to my side. "Take away his pain," I ordered. Without hesitation, Mahad placed his hand on Seth's head. Soon, Seth let go of his chest, the tortured expression disappearing from his face, and -- to my surprise -- clung onto me with a tight embrace. I heard faint gasps from the others, which I just ignored; instead, I returned the embrace wordlessly and strained to listen. My High Priest, the strongest among my six most loyal subjects, was sobbing uncontrollably; it was the first time I've seen him weep since when Kisara had passed away.

I noticed most of the other priests regarding Seth with cold eyes, while Akhnadin, his father, bit his lip and looked away. I could tell that this was a serious matter indeed, and something related to the pain that both Seth and I had experienced.

"Seth, my High Priest," I finally asked softly, "what's wrong?"

"My Lord... my Lord... forgive me..." he whimpered, and held onto me more tightly.

"What you have done is unforgivable!" Kalim voiced out deeply. "You deserve to be placed in the dungeons!"

"Silence, Kalim!" I responded indignantly. Kalim immediately asked for pardon. I forgave him readily.

Seth didn't say anything, and just went on crying and hugging me, as if begging for my protection. Reassuringly, I took his hand in mine, and once again saw the black ink spots. "Seth..." I gently said, bringing his hand to his sight, "what's this?" I then heard him gurgle and hiss; I inferred I wasn't going to get any answer from him, but would have to seek for myself. "Never mind," I finally said, lightly patting his back with my palm.

"Thank you... my Lord..." he managed to speak, coughing. Weakly, he let go of me and faced me, his eyes red from crying. And then, slowly and trembling as if in reluctance, he gestured at something. There, where I had failed to look, was a thick gold-and-bronze book, opened to one of its pages. From afar, I saw the same black ink written on parts of the page.

"What the--?" I ran to look at the book, and gasped in horror when I saw...

It was the Book of Life. And the page was about Seto Kaiba.

_(to be continued)_


	18. Will

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

There was pain, and then darkness. And then there was none. The existence of nothing but mere consciousness. Nearly absolute oblivion.

_So this is how it's like to die_, I mused, getting a strange sort of exhilaration as I've come to know how death -- _real _death -- truly feels like. It has always aroused my curiosity -- this death -- made me spend a number of nights playing around with it in my mind, almost as if it were my obsession. Almost as if it was what I had desired for so long.

_Well, was it? _Have I totally and truly abandoned the human instinct of self-preservation? For I have come to know death without a struggle; otherwise, I would have at least tried to fight back. In fact, I have chosen to welcome it with open arms. For in the last moments of my life, after I had driven through whatever I had crashed into and smashed my body... I had let out a low chuckle of triumph, and sighed out in relief amidst the intensity of pain. And then, willingly, I closed my eyes; I didn't fight unconsciousness when it came. I just let it claim me. I had let death claim me.

_No_, I have claimed death, and chosen to die. Just as Yami Yugi had, ten years ago.

_Yami Yugi..._

At that, blindling light flooded the darkness, and soon, I heard a familiar long-lost voice proudly and firmly call my name:

"Seto Kaiba."

That voice! It seemed to stir something within me: that longing that had gathered within me all these years. The urge to see _him_ and have _him_, no matter the cost, even if it must be paid for with my own life. _Damn, am I really this desperate? _Sometimes, I could not believe myself; I had lost myself, all because of this one man who had started out as nothing to me, in whose existence I had regarded as nothing more than a rival, whose importance I had fully realized only when it was already too late. Yet, from beyond the grave, he had held my life in his hands, and changed me. Defeated me, again, with his power.

I was silent, once more in awe at his presence. He stood before me now; again, it was his turn to speak. His tone was stern and authoritative; I realized it was a command.

"Your time has not yet come, Kaiba. Return to where you've come from. Return to the world of the living."

At that, something from inside seemed to hit me -- quite like a sudden influx of energy -- and I didn't stop myself... or my heated rage. In a second, my fist had landed on Yami Yugi's cheek, sending him sprawling to the floor.

**Chapter 18: Will**

I should've expected Seto Kaiba to react this negatively to what I have said. I had been too careless and foolish, making the mistake of momentarily underestimating him, of thinking that there was no more fight left within his late-twenties self, as a consequence of the past ten years. But, of course, I should've realized that there _is_ always fight left in him; after all, this is Seto Kaiba we are talking about. Fight is the foundation of his heart and of his soul; it was something that could _never_ be taken away, lest he ceases to exist.

For failing to see that, I deserved his punishment, and I accept it, painful as it was. Nevertheless, as I rubbed the throbbing ache on where he had hit me, I was glad to have found the Seto Kaiba whom I had thought was lost forever. The Seto Kaiba that I had known, and that I love, has finally returned.

He stared down at me coldly with his sea blue eyes. His arms were crossed in apparent vexation, and his stance was proud and intimidating, almost threatening to kill. I smiled lightly, pleased, as I brought myself up and stood to face him once more. Seto must have noticed, for his eyebrows had crossed.

"What's so funny?" he inquired, obviously annoyed at my reaction.

I instantly wiped the smile from my face. "You heard me, Kaiba," I said, avoiding his last question. "Return to the world of the living. Now is not your time to die."

Within seconds, the scenes of immediate past flashed through my mind. The searing pain through my form that had prompted me to run to the temple. The congregation of priests who had condemned Seth for some unforgivable reason. The High Priest Seth who had clung unto me, trembling, begging for protection and comfort. And the black ink spots that had stained his hands, the mark of his crime.

For the same black ink was etched on the pages of the Book of Life. The pages about Seto Kaiba. The fresh writings spoke of a vehicular accident. I was too shocked to read on, as I realized that Seth had forged the writings on the Book of Life, a crime punishable by a millennium of burning torture in the afterlife dungeons. The thought of it sent chills through my form; even my High Priest, the toughest among my six counsels, had buckled at the knowledge.

_Seth, you idiot!_ I had wanted to exclaim. But my throat tightened and dried in horror and fury, rendering me speechless. Instead, I turned to him, my eyes begging for an answer. In response, Seth immediately collected himself and looked on. Though his narrowed eyes were reddened from crying, there were no more traces of regret in them. Just ice-cold determination and stone-hard pride. I didn't know which one to be more concerned of: the punishment that awaited my High Priest, or his placid facial expression that spoke of him facing his responsibility regardless. My High Priest, after all, had always judged honestly and justly, rewarding generously or punishing harshly as each person in question deserved in the law. And Seth himself is definitely no exception to the rule.

He finally spoke. "I swore an oath that I would serve the Pharaoh loyally and ensure his contentment, even at the risk of pain, humiliation and death." His tone was straight and sure.

I didn't know how to respond. I sat without moving, still holding the Book of Life in my hands.

"I can wait," I whispered, the only answer that came into my mind.

"It is written," he replied, "that my reincarnation would live for five more decades."

"A mere fifty days in the afterlife. You should've known that, Seth." I reverently lay the book on the floor and approached my High Priest. "And you are mistaken to think that what you have done would appease me. You may have brought my beloved back to my arms, but you have killed him. Who knows how much you have changed the fate of mankind with your foolish actions? Seto Kaiba is a significant force in the world of the living. Didn't you realize that... Seth?"

My High Priest bowed his head in shame. From the side of my vision, I noticed Mahad walk to where I had laid the book. Ignoring him, I just shook my head, and continued: "You shouldn't have done this. The Book of Life was entrusted in the priests' care because the Gods believe that you are most able to care for it. Now you have betrayed their trust... by allowing yourself to think that your limited knowledge could challenge their infinite wisdom! I, too, may have misjudged the destiny they have set for me, but as I chose to accept, I have come to appreciate. For how else could I have met my beloved if I hadn't become the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle? Furthermore... do you think I would exist happily knowing that my High Priest -- whose welfare I care for so much -- is suffering in the dungeons? And didn't it pass your mind that as you have gained me my beloved back, so you have lost yours in the process?"

"I live to serve my Lord" was his only reply. I gritted my teeth in annoyance. I hate it when people sacrifice themselves for my sake. My priests had done it before, three thousand years ago, and it stabbed sharply through my heart seeing them die one by one. All for my sake. I had thought that that was the end of it. Apparently, I was wrong.

I slumped myself on the floor as I thought about what to do. Then a solemn voice broke the silence. "It seems that the High Priest has not adversely affected fate, my Lord." It was a voice tinged with hope. I turned to see Mahad going through the text of the Book of Life.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Mahad walked over and knelt before me, holding the Book of Life open to the page on Seto Kaiba's destiny. "See, my Lord," he said, as he pointed out the relevant text, "Seth's reincarnation would survive. The accident would just be another scene in his life -- something that would hardly change him. And then he would move on to fulfill the others that have been previously written about him." After reading the text, I confirmed that what Mahad had said was true.

"But... how?" I glanced at Seth, before turning back to Mahad.

"We had caught him writing on the Book of Life, my Lord," Mahad replied, quite bitterly, "and we were able to stop him. He must have failed to finish what he had intended to do."

"Good," I muttered in relief. Now that Seth's actions would do little to change Kaiba's fate -- and the fate of the world -- I may be able to compromise for a lighter punishment. But for now...

"As we speak," came Isis' voice, "the fragment of Seth's soul knocks at the gates of the afterlife."

"Then I shall see him," I said. The priests all came to my side, apparently offering to help. But I just waved my hand and shook my head. "I know where to go. This is something I must do alone. Just wait here quietly for my return. Do not fight among yourselves; the situation is bad enough as it is." And to Seth, I said simply, "I shall deal with you later." He just nodded in response. I turned my back to them and left for the gates of the afterlife.

_Now I am here._ And Seto Kaiba was standing before me, his deep blue eyes blazing.

"You have no right to tell me what to do, Yami Yugi!" he interjected furiously. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You're a fool, Kaiba, pitting yourself against the powers of fate." I shuddered at my words, as I remembered Seth. "And do not argue, for I know better than you do. I have seen your future."

His grin glared with triumph, and he chuckled. "Ishizu has said that before. And I've proven her wrong. Have you learned nothing from that duel?" He stepped closer. I stared wide-eyed and speechless in horror at him, through him... he was beginning to fade! But he didn't seem to notice; he continued to move nearer, slowly vanishing with every step. And so I tried to stop him. But, for some reason, he couldn't be stopped.

His voice, as always, was laced with arrogance.

"I refuse destiny..." _Step._

_Kaiba..._

"For I am beyond fate." _Step._

_Don't do this, Kaiba..._

"It has never held me..." _Step..._

_No!_

"...and it never will." He took the final one. And then...

"Kaiba!" I screamed, falling weakly to the floor. _Seto... oh Gods, Seto..._

But he was nowhere to be found.

_(to be continued)_


	19. Uncertainty Resolved

**Contemplations in the Afterlife**

by: scarlet wax petal

October 25. Today would have been Nisama's birthday, I thought, as I walked alone upon the browning grass and the crisp red leaves of autumn. I gazed up at the whitish-blue sky to see more leaves being shed by the trees that towered above me.

Ah, everything in this world must come to an end, sometime, somehow... like the once-vibrant leaves of summer past that fall to the ground like rain.

Like the rain that fell torrentially that cold dreary afternoon. The afternoon Nisama was buried. The afternoon when I said my last goodbye to the most special person in my life.

I was in Japan when the news came to me. I was unprepared when I saw the dilapidated car, unmistakably his, on television. Thankfully, Yugi Mutou was there, and he roused me from the intense shock that had struck me incoherent for some time. Immediately, I rode my fastest jet and headed for America, hoping that I would arrive to find my brother alright. Yet barely an hour in the journey, and another news flash told me I was too late... Seto Kaiba, young CEO of Kaiba Corporation, _my Nisama_, was dead. He didn't even make it to the hospital. It was as if... he had given up on life the moment the accident happened. But Nisama was a fighter, so I had much doubt on the thought.

When I finally arrived, I found that my wife had taken care of my brother's wake. As expected, many people came to "pay their final respects." Yet, also as expected, none of them stayed. To them, Seto Kaiba had been no one but the CEO of Kaiba Corporation, the youngest self-made billionnaire, and the world's most heartless bastard. But I knew him better than that -- and he was certainly far from heartless. For Seto Kaiba is a compassionate and honorable man who cared for and protected his brother to the depths of the soul he risked losing forever. He was my Nisama. And I love him.

Nisama was buried on a Sunday. Surprisingly, Yugi and Anzu Mutou, their son Atem, and all their friends -- Honda, Shizuka, Mai, Otogi, even Jounouchi -- were present, arriving just in time for the funeral mass. They comforted me, said that they were sad that my brother has passed away. At first, I was hesitant to believe them. But their evident sincerity soon won my trust.

After the coffin had been descended, the rain fell. Everyone ran for shade. Many complained about their soaking wet suits and dresses. But Yugi-tachi had stayed, and they stayed with me, under the rain, where I had let my bitter tears wash away, my only offering to the brother who had loved me so much.

Yugi Mutou placed his hand gently upon my shoulder. "You may not have realized this, Mokuba, but it isn't only you who cares for your brother," he said.

I looked at him through teary eyes. I didn't respond.

"We will miss your brother, Mokuba," came Jounouchi, "even if he was such a..." And he slapped himself. "Oh, forget it. Your brother may have been a jerk, but he's saved our butts many times before. I guess you could call him a hero," he remarked with a shrug.

"We owe him more than can ever be repaid," said Anzu. The rest nodded their heads in agreement.

_Yeah, I know_, I thought bitterly. _But have you ever regarded him as more than just a comrade? _Unlikely; given my brother's often arrogant attitude, Yugi-tachi would never have gone beyond the level of respect -- if they even respect him, that is.

As if in response to my silent question, Yugi looked up at the sky, and sighed, closing his eyes contemplatively. "You know," he finally uttered, after a moment of silence, "your Nisama was everything to Yami Yugi. Yami Yugi loved him from the bottom of his heart."

"Really?" I blurted in surprise.

Yugi nodded his head solemnly, and smilingly blinked his large innocent eyes. "Yes. Really." He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, and smiled. And there, I believed him.

It pleased me to know that there was someone other than me who regarded my brother in a very special way.

Yugi-tachi left days after the burial, while my family and I returned to our home, to our lives. I had hoped it would be as easy as everyone claimed. Unlike them, I was inconsolable. Part of me had wanted to die. But I remembered my wife and my daughter, and found that I couldn't (and wouldn't) give up on life... for the simple reason that I want to always be there for them. So sometimes, I wonder: Now that I'm all grown up, with a family of my own, and strong enough to protect myself, did Nisama allow himself to die? If I had been younger and weaker, would Nisama have survived? Guess I won't know, for now.

As everyone knows, my brother left no heir, which instantly elevated me to his position. I know I will never be as good a CEO as my brother was, but I promise that I would try my best to uphold his legacy for the young and the young-at-heart.

Many months have passed since then. The wounds of losing my precious brother have healed to some extent. I know that I will get over this someday, and be free to move on -- for my sake, and for the sake of those whom I hold dear to my heart.

I now stand reverently before my brother's gravestone, and remember the good times we've had when he was still alive, as I stare at the lovely white carnations that I had laid in his memory. And then I look at the sky, and I know... that he is there, somewhere, in heaven.

_Nisama, I pray that you have finally found peace wherever you may be. Yami Yugi, I hope that you are finally reunited with the man you love. In our hearts, you will always be our heroes, our friends, our brothers. I pray that you both obtain your well-deserved rewards. _

_Till we meet again. May you both rest in peace._

**Chapter 19: Uncertainty Resolved**

"Kaiba! Kaiba! Where are you, Kaiba? Answer me!" I yelled and yelled, yet there was no response. Immediately, I re-entered the gates of the afterlife to seek my priests' help in tracking down Seto Kaiba.

I arrived at the temple to find them, looking clueless on what they should do. I glanced around; there were only five. _Dear Gods..._

"Where's Seth?" I demanded indignantly. "Didn't I tell him to await me here?"

"He has been taken away..." Isis tearfully whispered. My priests and I immediately headed for the afterlife court. When we arrived, we found Seth seated before the omnipotent judicial council of the Gods, with his hands and ankles bound in iron chains. Despite that, there was still a proud, dignified air about him. And the pain that was there in his eyes before was, strangely... gone.

The council acted as the prosecutors, while my priests and I acted in Seth's defense. My priests had been reluctant at first, but it was evident that as the trial bore on, they became more intense in their resolve to save my High Priest. Most of the priests reasoned on basis of Seth's numerous merits, while I reasoned that, given only Seth's actions, fate would have gone on as planned; therefore, his punishment shouldn't be as severe. I didn't dare mention about what happened to Seto Kaiba; it was likely that they already knew, but I was willing to take my chances that they didn't.

Arguments were thrown by each side to the other. And, after an exhausting daylong trial, the verdict was in: Seth was guilty of tampering with the Book of Life. However, instead of a millennium of fiery torture, his punishment has been commuted to a century of imprisonment, with visiting privileges for one person each week. Furthermore, he would have to relinquish his rights as High Priest forever.

The result of the trial wasn't an acquittal, and I didn't hope it would be (Seth was, after all, still guilty), but I was greatly relieved with how things had turned out. As a parting gift, my priests and I decided that the visiting privileges would be used only by Kisara.

Just as Seth was about to be taken away, I managed to grab a moment to ask him about Seto Kaiba. In response, he smiled serenely, puzzling me at first. And then he replied:

"His heart has led him to where he wishes to go. I wish for your happiness from hereon, my Lord."

From his words, and from his calm eyes, I caught a faint glimmer of hope, and I smiled. "See you in a hundred years, my High Priest," I whispered. "And, if what you said is true... my eternal gratitude is yours."

"It was my duty." He nodded respectfully, and then turned himself in to fulfill his sentence, not looking back as he walked down the halls to the dungeons. I watched him through teary eyes until he was out of sight.

As soon as we got out of the afterlife court, my other priests and I parted ways. It was already late in the evening, and thousands of stars littered the blackness of night. I should be home now, fast asleep. Except I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. So I was still walking around, hoping to find whom I was looking for. I went to the river banks, searched the marketplace and library, and paid a visit to the temple. He wasn't there. He was nowhere to be found.

_Maybe he has come to his world in the afterlife?_ I wondered, remembering what Seth had told me on my first day here. I decided to ask Isis for assistance on the matter the following morning. _But, for now, I would have to go home and rest._

Sadly and slowly, I trudged the road home. I found that the lamps were still brightly lit. _How odd... The servants should have turned down the lights by now. Unless... someone has entered my home without permission!_

Cautiously, I gave the door a push. A terse greeting immediately welcomed me.

"Took you ages to come back. I didn't know the King of Duelists has such a poor sense of direction."

The voice was young and mocking and firm. Almost commanding, with a taint of conceit. But it was just right, so familiar, almost too good to be true. For before me proudly stood its source -- tall and slender, in a flowing white trench-coat, with the soft brown hair I've been wanting to touch and the deep blue eyes I've been longing to see...

_Seto Kaiba. _I mouthed, pinned to where I was in shock. I rubbed my eyes, trying to erase the apparition. Except this was no mere vision. Seto Kaiba was actually here, standing in the middle of my living room!

"Kaiba..." His name finally escaped my lips. "What... How did you end up in here? You were supposed to be back in the world of the living!"

He simply shrugged. "Who cares? And don't give me another lecture on destiny. I'll just shut your words off." He smirked triumphantly, and chuckled. "Didn't I tell you that I am beyond fate? Or must I always remind you about that, so that you won't forget?"

I silently watched him as he turned and settled himself very comfortably on my couch. _Yeah, it looks like you've done it again, Seto Kaiba._ I shook my head and smiled. Kaiba -- Seto was back to being his usual annoying self. The usual annoying self that I found so strangely special. Just like I did the rest of him.

I sauntered nearer, not once taking my eyes from him. And he stared back, with a grin of mischief and arms crossed arrogantly over his chest, reaching me, making my heart beat faster with every second, every step, every thought of what was to come...

Our faces were now mere inches apart. Seto lifted his head to meet my gaze levelly, drowning me further into the ocean that were his eyes. "Well?" he asked breathily, his voice tinkling with playful contest. "Answer my question, Yami Yugi. Must I stay here just to get that fact right to your head?"

My voice was caught in my throat. I was speechless, and gasping for breath, my heart pounding rapidly, excitedly in my chest.

Seto moved, gently brushing my cheek with the delicious warmth of his exhale. I swallowed in tension. _Gods, his face is so painfully close... _The heat of his breath now rolled over the sensitive skin of my ear. A touch of wetness swept it for a moment, and I groaned in bliss at the contact.

"I am waiting, Yami Yugi." Seto whispered huskily, his voice thick with heated desire, "Answer me._ Now._"

My mind was struck blank; I couldn't think of any words with which to respond. Instead, I decided to answer Seto's question in another, more certain way: an answer that I knew Seto would approve of so much more than mere words...

I grabbed him by the collar of his trenchcoat and pulled him to me, hungrily enveloping his lips in the warmth of my own. And Seto immediately replied, with as much intensity, as much longing for contact. He plunged into my mouth with his tongue, almost too eagerly, too roughly, like a pilgrim in a desert finally offered a fount to soothe his thirst. _Aye, Seto has been deprived of this for too long_, I thought, as I gladly received his assault, knowing that the feeling was mutual.

When we parted, reluctantly, to catch our breaths, and I found my power to speak. Gazing into his deep blue eyes, I whispered upon his lips his name. "Seto..."

His voice was soft, exhaled, as he caught his breath in deep heated gasps. "What is it?"

"You're a moron," I remarked, quite sharply, and smiled.

"I know." His right arm snaked over my nape, cupping the back of my head with his hand. And as he traced with his left fingers upon my cheek, he whispered, "And so are you," before gracing my lips again with his hungriest kisses.

_Fools indeed. And I wouldn't have wanted it any other way._

**Epilogue: Paradise... At Last**

I glanced dazedly around the room, where our clothes lay scattered in different places. Somehow, from where we had started -- on the living room couch -- we had ended up lying naked and exhausted upon the kitchen floor. In the heat of our passion, Yami Yugi and I forgot where we were; we didn't even make it to his bedroom, so I was glad that his servants were not around tonight.

My actions had been torrid and zealously unrefined, as I touched him, undressed him, pleasured him in all ways possible. As I ravished him. As I claimed him, took him as my own as I did many years ago. I wanted to make up for the long time we had been apart, now that we are finally together. Now that I finally have him.

We lay there, on the kitchen floor, recovering in our postcoital embrace. As I stared hazily at the ceiling, I recalled the times when I had denied him, maligned him... those lost times that should have been happier, should have been like this. And then I look at the man in my arms, and see what is now: my present, my future. And I have no regrets.

Out of curiosity, I had asked him: "Why do you even bother with a jerk like me?"

And he answered, quite simply:

"Because you're you, Seto Kaiba. And I love you." He dropped a subtle kiss upon my nose and, raining gentle kisses upon my face, he whispered, almost breathlessly:

_I love you. I love you. And I love you... _over and over again, reassuring me, renewing his promises with every touch, every kiss, every caress that he placed upon my skin. With him in my arms, at long last, Yami Yugi would make me believe in hope, in trust, in eternity. In everything that is him, and in everything that is me. In everything that are us, together.

He continues to say to me_ those _words, softly, repeatedly, as if I would forget if he didn't. But, of course, I will never forget. And I will never tire of hearing him say those words, to me. For of all the rash decisions I've ever had, I've finally made the one that truly, wholly pleased me with my power to make a choice, to stand up for what I want. This was -- is the best choice I've ever made. And I will hold on to it. Forever.

-o-o-o-

I am Atem, once Pharaoh of Egypt. I lingered in the world of the living for three thousand years, all the while believing that my sole mission was to find my lost memories. But now, as I bury myself deeper in my beloved's warm embrace, I realize that I have journeyed, and suffered, for three millennia in order to find, not just my past, but also my future. My destiny. I have defeated time in order to find him. In order to love him. And I have no regrets. No more loneliness. Only pure bliss in love that transcends the depths of eternity.

Tonight, I gaze tenderly at my beloved's face and, seeing the soft glow of contentment upon him as he slept, I smile. Seto Kaiba has finally found the peace he has long sought. And so have I. I may have been in the afterlife for some time now, yet it is only recently that I have entered paradise. In his arms. _Forever._

_And ever._

_owari (The End)_


End file.
